7 Deadly Sins - Dating Advice for men and women

There are some classic mistake that women make when dealing with men. Some hurt you, some hurt him, some hurt the relationship. They happen so often, and with such great frequency, that you would think it was a secret. Well I’m here to burst that bubble and help you steer clear of these seven deadly sins. 1. Never sleep with your Ex Sleeping with your ex (boyfriend, husband, lover, etc.) is always a big mistake. Remember, there’s a reason why the two of you broke up in the first place. Engaging in such a raw passionate act with your ex will without a doubt stir up old feelings. The familiar comforts of his powerful arms, musky smell, and warm body will have you feeling like love all over again. But, is it really love? No! Sadly it’s merely lust, and comfort, and convenience. You’ll delude yourself into thinking things will work out this time. Surprisingly, you only remember the good times, and all the failings of the relationship elude your grasp. So avoid this mistake at all costs. It will only end in heart break, anger, and confusion, etc. 2. Faking An Orgasm Women of all ages fake orgasms. One of the most popular reasons given is to spare a man’s feelings. But is this honestly the reason why women are faking orgasm? In my humble opinion I believe this is a selfish and not a selfless act. You know how awkward it will be to turn to your man and tell him he’s not pleasing you sexually. Many men if you talk to them in a positive attitude will want to make sure you are satisfied. It’s really all in how you approach it. Also, it only hurts a man more to discover later that you’ve faked orgasms for a long period of time. Faking an orgasm actually trains the body into thinking it will not achieve orgasm at the end of a sexual encounter. In time this makes it increasingly difficult to reach the Big-O. So do yourself, and your man a favor. Speak up! Approach him with a loving and caring voice, and tell him what you like. Focus on the positive things, instead of telling him what he’s doing wrong. 3. Ditching Your Girlfriends For A New Beau How many of you are guilty of this, or have a friend who is? It’s a very bad habit. It’s not healthy for your relationship with your man and your friends. It’s good to have hobbies, interests, friends and time away from your man. Yes, it may be difficult, especially early in the relationship. But it’s for the best. Your friends miss you, and if you keep ditching them for men, they will soon cut you off. Yes, your friends will be there to support you when things are bad, but if you avoid them during the good times they will easily become angry. No one wants to get always get the short end of the stick. Besides, the time apart from your man is healthy. It lets you focus on other things, gives you a recharge, and gives you something to talk about when you see him again. 4. "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!” If Interrogation is your middle name you may have a problem. There’s a time and place for questions. On the first date, the last thing anyone wants is to feel like it’s an interview. You’re supposed to be having fun! If you start talking about long committed relationship and making plans together after one week, it’s too soon. If you start talking about marriage, kids, and where you want to raise your family after only a few months, it’s too soon. There’s so much to learn about your man if you only listen and show interest in what he likes and talks about. So slow down on the questions. Listen, relax, and have fun! 5. “We” instead of “me” Men enjoy their freedom. There’s a reason why men are cautious and careful about jumping into a relationship. He wants a woman who is going to respect his needs and his freedom. It’s healthy and highly recommended to let a man have some space, or a night out with the boys. Using “we” is something that takes time. Sure it’s fun to make plans to spend time together. But have you considered his interest, and his plans? Making plans for you and your new boyfriend to go to a wedding, big mistake. Telling him about your friend’s wedding, and asking if he’d like to be your date, much better. But again, be weary of bringing up weddings too early in the relationship. You have to feel a man out, and listen to who he is. If you rush making plans for each other, he will feel trapped and want to leave. But if you do it gradually and over time, it will show you are interested in him and enjoy being with him. 6. Loosing Your Identity He loves the band “Muse”, the Packers, and muscle cars. So you begin neglecting your own hobbies and interests in order to dive into his. This is a big mistake too many women are guilty of. It’s great that you want to share in your man’s interests, but not at the cost of your own identity. Your interests have help create who you are as a woman. You should never give up who you are for a man. If you truly wish to share in his interests, don’t force it. In time, the longer you are together, the more you will learn. Let things come naturally. 7. Unrealistic Expectations No one can live up to a high list of expectations. Why is it the best advice to give a man is to have no expectations and simple enjoy having a good time with a woman? But, the same advice doesn’t appear to apply to women’s expectations on men. Often you may find yourself missing out on a great opportunity. No one is perfect. If your expectations are too high then you may end up single forever. If they are too low, you’ll find yourself with horrible men who don’t appreciate you. Expectations can be so powerful that some men may not approach you, assuming that you have high expectations for a man you date. Spend some time investigating who you really are as a person and a woman. What do you absolutely need, and what do you want. Remember, we can’t truly know, understand, and appreciate others, until we know ourselves.

Tips on Romancing women - Dating advices for men

This week's Q&A focuses on how to tease her without being a jerk, and how to keep the romance alive without seeming like a Wussy. David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.

How can I use your Cocky & Funny technique without going too far and turning into a real jerk? Sometimes when I tease a woman she calls me an a**hole.
Remember: There's a difference between being called an a**hole by a woman and actually being one.

If you're just being Cocky & Funny, teasing, being a challenge, etc. while being considerate, kind, physically stimulating (a-hem), and other "nice" things, and a woman calls you an "a**hole" then say, "I'm really glad you like it!" Turn it into something Cocky & Funny.

The key is to not actually become a mean, abusive guy.

Women love the challenge, but they don't like the abuse from bad guys.

Give them the positive without the negative, and you’ll be fine.

If a guy goes too far with Cocky & Funny, what’s the best way for him to recover?
This is a great question...

Often, when you're first learning how to use the Cocky & Funny attitude, you'll go overboard and make the mistake of saying something that's purely arrogant... but not funny.

No problem.

You have a few choices:

1- Say something afterwards that's funny that makes the original comment funny.

2- Say, "Oh, I'm just teasing," or give her a sly smile to let her know you were kidding.

3- Laugh at your own comment to signal that it was a joke and not to be taken seriously.

Of course, you don't want to tell a woman that you're just teasing or laugh at your own comments too often, because you'll look like a schmuck if you do.

The key to recovering is not letting the fact that you went overboard throw you off.
If she gets a little upset, just be cool and calm about the situation, and get back on track with more humor.

And don't worry about it; you're learning a skill that will increase your success with women forever, so it's OK to make a few mistakes here and there while you're learning.

If you’re in a relationship with a girl, what’s the best way you can romance her without coming across like a Wussy?
OK, as you know I don't like to venture into the "relationship" realm, but I will make a comment here…

If you have been seeing a woman for awhile, and you really want to blow her mind, do several things that she likes all in one day or evening.

Take her to her favorite restaurant, give her a gift of her favorite flowers, wear the clothes that you know she likes, rub her shoulders, and, um... give her some good lovin'.

Romance is wonderful, as long as you don't overdo it and come across as a Wussy.
Focus all of the things that she likes into one small window, and good things will come of it.

Then don't do them again for awhile... at all.

She'll talk about that night forever, and she'll always be wondering when the next one will come...
reader’s question
First the success story: I have recently met a few 8.5-9.5s and have had so much luck with getting numbers and dates with the Cocky & Funny routine. In fact, my buddy who is a model came up for the weekend and he commented on how well I have come into my own and how I remind him of... him. He was usually the master of our group in getting the girls... he just had a way with it, but what I noticed with him is that he'd find a girl he'd like and get all Wuss- like. I tried to learn from him about the initial attraction, but could never really apply it.

Then I got your book and applied that and not only was I impressed with myself, but he was impressed with the way I've changed (I used to be a big, shy Wuss). I have learned that you don’t have to be the best-looking guy in the world to attract the women you want. It’s all in the way you talk (slowly, and confidently), the way you compose yourself and the way you walk.

My question is: I met this girl who is a good 9-9.5. I was almost intimidated the first time we met, but I stuck to my guns and remembered your teachings. I was Cocky & Funny. I bust on her all the time, yet she seems a little standoffish. Although, when I talk to and go out with other girls, she immediately wants to go out (hang out, whatever). She'll comment on "I love how you joke with me" and when I tell her things like "Well thanks for flaking out on me the other night, you owe me anyway." She always says, " I owe you! I know." Then I always joke with her about being a flake and that she must be a blonde and she’s fooling everyone (she’s half black/half white with dark hair).

OK, well on to the question: What is this girl’s deal? I see her maybe two to three times every two weeks or so, and we usually hang out until the wee hours of the morning, and we always have fun. It seems like I see her more when I turn up two factors: The "busting on her" factor, and the "not caring what you’re doing right now… I’m out with this other girl" factor. In my experience, a girl is either into me, or she’s not... point blank. This girl is more flaky, and on and off more than anyone I've ever know.

Ken Oh
my comments
Well, congratulations. I know exactly how you feel... I love it that I can hang out with my guy friends who are "naturals" at meeting women and hold my own.

I'm about to push the boundaries of my normally rather politically correct way of talking about women by venturing a guess...

I'll bet you a hundred bucks that this girl is or has been either...

1- An exotic dancer
2- An escort of some kind
3- A model or actress

I know, I know... attractive women often are. But there's something about these "careers" that, in my personal experience, seems to lead to the exact kinds of flaky, wishy-washy, inconsistent behavior you're talking about.

I mean, she could also just be a dingbat. Let's not rule that out.

The reason you probably like this girl so much is because she isn't predictable.
I mean, you could have asked me anything here, and you chose to ask me about one particular situation with one particular girl.

That tells me that whatever she's doing is working, and it's probably worked all her life.

Conversation Tips - Dating Tips and Dating Advices

Women want sex just as much as men, but most men have no clue when it comes to getting the whole process started -- namely, how to handle the very first conversation. If you don’t have a game plan, it’s easy to let one opportunity after another pass you by. Here are 10 tips to help you start conversations with attractive women EVERYWHERE.
Number 10
Start chatting up EVERYONE
Part of the very CORE of successfully starting conversations with women is BASIC social skills. It’s important to practice starting conversations with as many people as possible, then use those skills with women you’re attracted to. Take advantage of every situation you can to start conversations and connect with people -- don’t be picky. If you can talk about irony, make sarcastic jokes that are funny, or make the other person laugh, ALL THE BETTER. If you start five conversations a day for the next 90 days, you’ll have started 450 new conversations with strangers. This ALONE will go a long way to reprogram your instinctive “fear approach response.”
Number 9
Incorporate different places into your weekly routine
Most guys have schedules that don’t put them into close proximity with a ton of women -- and then they complain that it’s so hard to meet them. Alter your lifestyle just a tad to include locations and situations that make it easy to meet women. As part of the natural flow of your life, include a coffee shop near a busy shopping or business district, a restaurant that hires a lot of attractive women and has a lot of turnover, and a trendy shopping mall. When you do, you won’t believe how many opportunities you’ll have to hone your skills for approaching women.
Number 8
Stop worrying about going out alone
Most men feel like fools if they go out to meet women alone. They don’t like going to bars or clubs without a buddy or two because they have the irrational thought that women will think they’re losers because they’re not there with someone and they feel like everyone is watching them and judging them for being alone. But most of the guys I know who are the MOST successful with women actually PREFER to go out alone. Try this: Go out alone one night this weekend -- not to meet women, but simply to watch and notice that no one cares about you at ALL. It’ll be a liberating experience for you… trust me.
Number 7
Get a handle on fear
The fear of approaching a woman; the fear of rejection; the fear attractive women won’t like you; the fear of making a physical advance: These things are all UNIVERSAL -- almost all men experience them in one way or another. You need to realize that this stuff is natural and you CAN overcome it if you want. The first step is to stop putting too much importance on any one situation and start thinking long-term and of the big picture. Focus on learning the SKILL. Girls will come and go, but when you develop the skill of getting ANY girl, it will last a lifetime.

Number 6
Stay out of the “loop”
What do guys do when they see a woman they’d like to approach? They get stuck in “inaction loops.” In other words, they FREEZE. Why? Because they try to come up with something “original and charming” to say; they try to think of the perfect compliment; they imagine she’s not single and that she’ll react negatively; or they start thinking there’s no way in hell she’d be interested in a guy like them. Do whatever it takes to stay OUT of these deadly loops. A simple solution is to just walk over and use a standard conversation opener. Keep it simple -- don’t over-think yourself right out of the game.
Number 5
Remember keys to starting conversations with women
When you see a cute girl, it’s important to remind yourself of some simple rules about approaching: Always approach a girl within three seconds -- don’t procrastinate. Saying anything is better than saying nothing at all. You can only learn at worst, and lessons are priceless. If this one doesn’t work, there will be 100 more in the future. It’s all upside, and no downside. Remember these key points for approaching women and it’ll make chatting up hotties a walk in the park.
Number 4
Get through the first few minutes
Most men don't realize this, but 99% of the first few minutes of your conversation with any woman aren’t about HER, they are about her PERSONA. A woman will play all sorts of games to block your progress so she can slow things down and maintain control. The last thing she wants to happen is for things to get hot and heavy too quickly, which may cause you to lose respect for her -- at least, this is what she believes. Even if a woman really likes you, she’ll probably be resistant at first, play hard to get, and even act uninterested. Some women get nervous around men, especially when they’re attracted to him. Don’t take any of this stuff personally, just be patient and persist.
Number 3
Appeal to her “weird” side
Every woman has a weird, dorky, off-beat side, but most men don’t get to see or interact with this side for very long. The key is for you to know that this side of her is in there, and then to talk to it and draw it out by teasing, latching on when you see it, etc. This is part of the key to giving her the experience of “I feel so comfortable with you,” and giving her the feeling that she’s known you for a long time. One way to do this is to call her a dork or a spaz or even a brat until you feel her shift. When she suddenly realizes you’re talking to that dorky side of her that few other men can bring out of her she'll begin to feel much more at ease with you. When you reach that point and get past a woman’s persona, that’s when MAGIC happens.
Number 2
Get success minded
We humans often learn TOO quickly. If we have just one unsuccessful experience, we “learn” that what we did doesn’t work. If we have several of these negative experiences, we become CONVINCED whatever it is we've been doing doesn’t work. This type of reasoning can spill over into our self-images and we begin to think, “It must be ME that’s the problem… something is wrong with ME.” Many men try to start a conversation or two with women, but when things don’t go as planned they decide something is wrong with them and that they have “failed.” But the way to turn any failure into a success is to LEARN from it. Success-minded individuals don’t see failure when they don’t have success right away -- instead, they think, “This is the time when success is right around the corner.” Try this mentality on for yourself -- you’ll be blown away by the results.
Number 1
Rehearse your approach
It’s important to mentally rehearse first conversations with women -- especially when you’re first starting out. Plan what you’re going to say, how she’s likely to respond and what you’re going to do in each possible situation. Take the time to mentally rehearse all of the steps of the approach in detail; the words you’ll use and the voice tone and body language, too. Also plan for how you’re going to physically and emotionally respond to a woman who isn’t interested in talking to you, and practice how you’ll handle the worst possible situation that may come up. When you do, you’ll realize there’s nothing more for you to fear. So get out there and put your plan into action.

Dating Advice and dating tips - Signs She’s Going To Dump You

Women in relationships aren't often recognized for their outstanding poker faces, especially when things aren't going well. The good news for you is that by just paying a bit of attention, it usually isn't hard to get a handle on what is going on inside her head as it concerns the state of your relationship or its future.

If she's thinking that the end is near for the two of you, her actions will no doubt be affected. Remember: She isn't sending out these signals purposely, so the odds are good that she'll reveal her true feelings before she is able to say anything out loud. You might be able to spot the signs that the end is near and avoid having to sit down and have a heart-to-heart conversation or an awkward breakup.

Here are signs she might be sending that should have your breakup alarm going off. If you start seeing these tip-offs, you'd better decide if you want to jump ship before you get thrown overboard or if you want to try to make it work.
She doesn't make future plans
Planning ahead is the hallmark of what makes a relationship serious rather than casual. Women in love are usually eager to secure your time well in advance of important events to make sure you'll be able to make it, so that she won't miss out on the opportunity to show you off. If you find that your lady isn't dropping hints about events or plans more than a month or two away, there's a good chance she isn't sure you'll be around. For this reason, she's reluctant to secure future complications (such as tickets to events, travel arrangements, or RSVP situations).
She avoids your family & friends
A girlfriend looking to secure a place in your life will have to make nice with both your family and your friends, but she wouldn't put in the time if she didn't think there was any future in your relationship. There are two reasons why she might not want to spend the quality time: Either she doesn't like them or she doesn't want to become too ingrained in your social circle, which would make it harder for her to walk away. And if she genuinely dislikes them, a relationship-minded girlfriend is likely to throw you a bone every once in a while if she knows she’s going to be a part of your life.


She never leaves anything at your place
There's a pretty common joke about women “accidentally on purpose” leaving things at a man's house to ensure or indicate a repeat visit -- and there's a reason why the story is so believable. Women in strong relationships are apt to make themselves comfortable in their boyfriend's place and leave a few things laying around. It can be practical items like a brush and a pair of pyjamas or something personal like a book; in either case they signal her intent to visit again. If your girlfriend always packs a complete overnight bag and is reluctant to leave anything behind, it might signal that she isn't sure that you are going to remain on her to-do list and she is wary of losing those items for good.
She doesn't confide in you
When something bad happens at work or she has a fight with a friend, women have different people they go to with the ins and outs of the events and her feelings about them. Some have a go-to girlfriend, others a family member, but eventually a boyfriend is going to be exposed to whatever the most recent crisis was. How she involves you will speak volumes: If you find yourself getting the short story devoid of her emotional reactions, she might be figuring that it isn't worth explaining to you. If she divulges the back story, describes everyone involved and solicits your opinion, you've got a woman on your hands who is trying to invite you into her personal world. This signals your importance to her and her openness to sharing herself with you -- both of which indicate that she's in it for the long haul.
She doesn't argue with you
It's rare to find yourself in a perfect relationship with absolutely no conflict -- there are always going to be issues that need to be resolved, apologies that have to be made, and arguments that need to be had. A woman with no emotional investment in you and your relationship won't bother; few people will argue if they have no desire for resolution. That's what makes make-up sex so damn good -- arguments and disagreements are almost always emotionally charged and are a great indicator of passion in a relationship. If your woman calls you on your mistakes and defends herself vigorously, she probably cares enough to sort things out with you before they become relationship deal-breakers.
sensing the end
Not everyone can mind-read in relationships, but just about anyone can stay tuned to the subconscious actions of romantic partners who are wavering in a relationship. If you stay on your toes you might be able to head off your next breakup with a preemptive strike of your own, or a battle plan to turn things around -- the choice is yours.

Dating advice and dating tips - How To Talk To Any Woman In Any Situation

This week I would like to turn the tables around and try something a little bit different. Something that just might make you take a new perspective and think about things in a way you’ve never thought about before… something that just might stir you up enough to get you to take some action…

First, I’d like you to think about the last time you saw a really attractive woman… you wanted to go over and talk to her, but for whatever reason you just didn’t do it. I’m talking about a really hot woman.

Take your time if you need it. I’m not going anywhere. Good.

Now, let me ask you something:

Did you ever stop a day or two after one of these situations happened to think about where that particular woman might be, and what she might be doing? Did you ever stop to think about what the rest of her day was like after she walked by you? About the ten or twenty other men that saw her that day who didn’t have the nerve to talk to her… and the two or three that did…? About the, most likely, boring job that she went to, the same-old-same-old “Wow, you’re beautiful” lines that she heard from the guys who got up the nerve to talk to her?

Did you ever consider that it might be useful to take a little time out and consider what it might be like to be an attractive woman, walking through life having almost every man you see light up with the “Whoa” look?

Hmmm…

What do you think we might be able to figure out if we just took a few minutes to explore what that attractive woman’s private life is like? Here are a few things that I’ve come up with:

1. Most attractive women are bored out of their minds by most men. One of the reasons for this is that guys have no idea what to do when they run into an attractive woman, so they do the same default thing: dumb look, compliment.
2. As I’ve said before, and I’m sure I’ll say many, many, many times in the future: You can’t bore a woman into feeling attracted to you. If she’s most likely got a boring life like everyone else, and you do something that every one of the other 499 guys she’s going to walk by this month did, then you’re probably not going to attract any special attention.
3. If you just start with the idea of not doing what other guys do you will be waaaaaayyy ahead of the game.

Wow, this is fun, isn’t it? Bet you never thought you’d be thinking like a woman, did ya? So, what are a few things you might do to? Maybe not be like the other 499 boring, predictable, “nice” loser guys she encountered? And maybe be interesting, attractive, attention-getting in a way that makes her feel like you might actually be someone to provide her with a pinch of spice in her life?

I thought you’d never ask…

And, as you may have already predicted, I have a few more ideas of my own (but don’t let that stop you from thinking about this on your own as often as you get a chance).

To start with, you’d probably want to get rid of the “Wow, you’re a beautiful woman, and I’m just an average guy admiring you” vibe. That’s not helping. Next, you could take a moment and think about how a guy that she would feel attracted to might act… then choose that style. My experience is that if you take an attitude of “I guess fate has good taste putting us in the same place, now let’s see if you have a personality to match your looks”, then stir in a generous portion of Cocky & Funny, you’re likely to do well.

Here’s a variation of something I’ve used myself once or twice:

* YOU: “Hey, can I ask you a quick question?” (leaning back and playing it cool, talking cool and slow)
* HER: “Sure”
* (pause.. pause.. pause for suspense)
* YOU: “Are you single?” (stone cold straight face)
* HER: “Well, um…”
* YOU: “I’ll take that as a yes…” (nodding, sly smile)
* HER: (Laughter)
* YOU: “Well, I just happen to know someone that I think might really like you… if you’re more than just a pretty face, that is… He’s funny, has great taste, and I think you’d like him… I’d love to sit down and get your life story, but I’m on my way somewhere… do you have email?” (very cool, calm tone of voice)
* HER: “Yes.”
* YOU: Great… (takes out pen)… write it down for me, and I’ll have, uh (clears throat) HIM send you an email.”
* (Get email and wish the lady a good day.)

Now, let’s talk about what just happened here.

First off, did I give her any compliments? Did I act like the other 499 guys? Did I instantly communicate that “I’m not worthy”? Hell no.

I said, “Hey, can I ask you a quick question?” in a very laid back, almost too relaxed and mysterious tone of voice (your body language is a very important component of this approach…). Anyone will respond to that with a “yes”.

Next, I did something kind of fun: I asked her directly if she was single. LOL… I really love this one. It’s so fun. Most guys will say, “Uh, I’ll bet you have a

boyfriend, huh?” or “So, do you have a man?” or some other lame thing. The question, “Are you single?”, takes women off guard. It’s great. And then being assumptive when she hesitated with an answer… in a cocky & funny way… magic.

Next, I followed up with a cocky, funny, semi-confusing little bit about “knowing someone” that might find her interesting. Now, she might think that it’s really me, but she won’t know for sure until she gets the email. And even then you might play with her a bit… “So, what did you think of my friend? I think he might like you…” etc.

The point is, I can pretty much guarantee you that this particular sequence hasn’t happened to her lately. She’s still trying to overcome her sheer awe
about how many guys in a row can ask “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”. This kind of fun approach will be a welcome breath of fresh air.

Now, I want you to do something. Go back and read it again… very carefully. Imagine it happening exactly like it’s written. Try to imagine it in a few different settings. Work on it until you can clearly see it happening in your mind’s eye. (The reason I can see it clearly is because I’ve done it so many times in real life!)

OK, so now you know how to approach women. Fantastic.

I can remember when I first learned how to start approaching women… I thought that if I could just start conversations easily, the rest of it would be a snap. Well, after meeting a lot of women, but not getting so many dates… and having the few dates I did get not go anywhere… I realized that there was a lot more to it.

Dating Advice and dating tips : An Exercise For Eliminating Fear Of Rejection By The guy/ gal

There’s a lot of talk about “approach anxiety” when is comes to approaching and meeting someone attractive. My personal belief is that we all too often have actually “rejected” ourselves before the potential meeting ever actually happens. This is tragic, because there is a simple yet effective way to make real progress from this kind of self-limitation.

As the title has already telegraphed, what we’re talking about here is training yourself how to see yourself as others see you… and then how to see others as they see themselves.

So what does that mean?

You as a human being are in a remarkable position. Have you ever considered how wild it truly is that out of six billion plus human beings just like you on this planet, you will only ever see light through the eyes of one of them? You are confined to your own physical being, at least as far as the laws of physics apply in this life. The metaphysics of all this are, of course, a subject better suited to some other article that is not about dating and relationships. Fair enough.

But since we are focused like a laser on your total, utter and massive success in the dating world-up to and including complete control over your dating life - you’d best believe that there is tremendous value in exploring this concept more deeply from a certain perspective.

So many of us artificially limit ourselves from believing that we can possibly deserve the kind of partner we want. Going way beyond “approach anxiety“…going way beyond “getting beat by a girl” and indeed way beyond anything you’ve ever heard from me until now, it can be safely assumed that much of the problem is directly attributable to how you see yourself vs. how you see others.

Here’s what I mean.

Since you know every intimate detail of your own thoughts, fears and weaknesses-as well as your strengths, of course-you know all of your own darkest secrets. Every imperfection, every prurient thought, every doubt and indeed-every single blasted thing that would cause you humiliating embarrassment if others knew.

Armed with this knowledge, what do you do? You go out and become completely disarmed by a “beautiful” and apparently “perfect” creature of the opposite gender. In your mind, he or she is flawless.

Then comes the vortex of self-doubt. “Oh man…I could never be in her league. She’s a veritable vision of perfection…and I can’t even get into an elevator without feeling claustrophobic, come from a foreign country, need a haircut, have a big nose, have spring allergies, say stupid things when nervous, chew my toenails in private and once cheated on a math test.”

So once again you talk yourself out of being successful.

Erstwhile, your “vision of perfection” is inside her own state of being thinking, “Girl…get yourself together! Your panty lines are showing, you have stupid looking ears, are habitually late for work, snort when you laugh, have two crooked teeth and wear contact lenses. No wonder you’ve been dateless for a month now!”

Crazy stuff, isn’t it? If only we could see inside each other’s heads. Better yet, if only we could read the thoughts of others regarding us.

Well, you can’t do that, but here are two simple exercises you can do:
Eliminate private knowledge as a “limiting factor” and take notes regarding how others respond to you

First and foremost, realize that your private thoughts are not public. Nobody else can evaluate you by them, so stop using them against yourself. They do not exist in the minds of others because they cannot. Next, consider the comments you receive from people. Where you hear patterns repeated time and again it’s time to believe what you are hearing. If pointing to ways you can better yourself, do so and deserve what you want. If you hear recurring positive comments and/or see recurring positive reactions to your presence and/or interactions, begin to recognize the truly positive manner in which others perceive you. This sounds so simplistic, yet how many of us go home and obsess over self-perceived “negatives” that we are repeatedly told are positives? If you think I must be kidding, actively begin to look for clues in your social life where you have previously been oblivious. Note the patterns that you detect, and trust them.
Pretend you are walking in the shoes of someone you find attractive

Okay, here’s the “power ball”. Ready? My guess is that when you encounter someone who really motors your sexual attraction levels, that person is actually more “perfectly imperfect” than “perfect”. The next time you are practically paralyzed by attraction towards someone, I want you pretend for a moment that you were that person instead of yourself. In your darkest, most self-critical thoughts, what would you be most self-conscious about? Go ahead and in your blind attraction make an effort to approach that concept with sober judgment. You will likely identify an entire litany of faults and potential attitudes that would make him or her very insecure, at least theoretically. Ironically, you may find yourself recognizing traits and/or features that some people may be self-critical about but which are at the same time exactly what is making you so hot for this person. It’s strange for sure. But it is an eye opener.

Dating tips and dating advices - Secrets of Talking With Women

Most of us have endured some silences in our relations with women we wish hadn’t happened. Well, first, you don’t have to be scared of silences, because they can be helpful. And second, there are ways to get a sparkling conversation going from next to ZERO material.
Let’s Take a Moment to Look Left

Brief related tangent time: one question I get asked a lot is “What should I talk about?”. Sure, now you know how you’re supposed to talk, but so many guys get stuck on what to talk about. After all, those dead silences are murder for attraction, right?

First off, not so fast bad-mouthing silence. More on that later. Second, it really doesn’t matter what you talk about, so long as you make it interesting. I’ve said this again and again, but let me stress it now: you can talk about anything and it’ll be ok. You can tell a date her butt looks huge in that dress. Say it right and she won’t walk out or slap you, she’ll laugh. You can wonder aloud whether postal workers get high on stamp glue. You can go on for half an hour about the off-color corner of that rare Elvis stamp you have framed on your wall… well, ok, maybe not that one. If you talk at length about certified punchline hobbies, you might be in trouble. Unless you’re making fun of them, of course.
Can stupid stuff work? You betcha

But seriously, this isn’t rocket science. This isn’t even high school science, despite how often the word “chemistry” gets bandied about.

When I was still studying these skills, some of my “natural” friends would tell me lines they’d used with great success. I didn’t believe it. The things they related to me sounded so… dumb, I couldn’t fathom an attractive intelligent woman would go for them.

Then I saw these guys in action. Sure, I could hear the stupidity of some of the lines – the corniness, the transparency, the if-this-were-in-a-Bond-movie-I’d-groan-now quality to them. Still, they worked. I had new respect for groaners in Bond movies. The key was all in the nonverbal delivery, as we’ve talked about at length.

Ok, so now that I’ve hopefully reminded you not to worry too much about the actual content, let me add sometimes you don’t need content at all.
The Golden Silence is as good as the Golden Tongue

Strange, eh? I have one friend who isn’t a gabber, who doesn’t like to partake in anything close to small talk. And when he’s out with women, there are numerous silences. And it works. Why? Because he’s comfortable with it.

Listen, reality is all about perception. If you’re scared of awkward silences, they become awkward. If you aren’t, the silences become natural. And that kind of thing stinks of relaxed confidence.

When you’re relaxed and comfortable enough to let a silence come and it doesn’t bug you, it communicates all sorts of positive things. Relaxed Confidence. Real (no games). Uh, we need a new word here, not gravity, but the opposite of frivolity. But while staying playful. We’ll call it gravolity.

To be clear, don’t overdo this. If you never say anything, well, you’re just boring. But don’t be scared of the occasional silence, or letting the lady start a topic and playing with it. (My silent friend does this all the time – and pretty soon, the women are starting all sorts of conversations and he’s viewed as fascinating because they’re talking about things they like to talk about. Who started the conversation never really enters into their head.)

Hey, by the way, did you know that psychological studies say that the person who is least comfortable with silence in a group – and hence breaks it – is almost always the most insecure? Still want to fill every last second of air time?
Silence is nice, but… let’s talk

Still, sometimes you will find yourself in need of something to talk about. And your mind will be blank. You know the time for conversation is here – but you’re clueless how to start it.

Well, this is one of the reasons I recommend avoiding dinners and traditional dates, and prefer shared activities. Especially in fun cool areas. Who needs to worry about conversation when there’s a man on a leash walking in front of you on the sidewalk, or a shop window with a dismembered mannequin head smeared with lipstick wearing a Ronald McDonald wig and a sign saying “Love me?”

If you can’t think of anything to say in stimulating areas, then you’re just not trying. Or you’re freaking – in which case you need to use one of your relaxation triggers to get yourself calm and able to think.

Come on, some of our granddaddies kept their heads with the enemy shooting at them. You can do it with an attractive lady. But you can’t always be in a Greenwich Village knockoff. Sometimes you need to come up with topics all by your lonesome, right? Wrong. See, the definition of conversation is you have to have at least two people. And that dynamic helps a lot.
Having the conversation she wants, every time

Lets borrow a trick from sales, where the seller needs to establish a friendly connection quickly. How do they do it? They listen for key words in statements they hear. And you can do the same. One simple sentence from your favorite lady can lead to a night’s worth of dialogue.

Example:

- “Hi.”
- “No, I’m not. Or were you offering? I barely know you, and already you bring psychotropic drugs into our relationship? Wow, you are one crazy chick.” (She should be laughing, if you delivered it right and she isn’t a nun.)
- “No, I don’t do drugs on a first date!” (key word: take your pick, drugs or date)
- “Oh, but on the second you jump right in? You’ve said two things, and they both relate to illicit substances. Get your mind out of the gutter and learn to enjoy life clean too.” (Then order her a beer).

See what’s going on? Just pick a key word from her conversation, and riff off it. The above doesn’t apply because it’s too early in your duologue, but even within a few minutes of talking to anyone you’ll hear them use keywords that are important to them for whatever reason. Hook onto those and she’ll think you’re the greatest conversationalist ever – because all you talk about is what interests her.

Example:

- “That dog smells like a Thai sewer.” (key word: Thai)
- “And how would you know? When were you in Thailand?”
- “Last month, actually. It’s insane!” (key word: insane)
- “And that’s what attracted you about it? You wanted to find others as crazy as you are?”
- “No! I went to get my scuba diving certification.” (key word(s): scuba diving, and you have a topic for the next 15 minutes that you know she wants to talk about).

“Homework”

Pretty easy, eh? In fact, it’s so easy, I’m going to make your homework nice and simple. Go out and have five conversations where you cue the other person off their keywords. Have five more where you never start a topic, and see how the silence feels, bearing in mind that you are seeking it. Finally, pick five interesting eclectic spots near you, and go for a walk in them. Just comment in your head on what you see.

That’s it. Enjoy your new expression of personal wit and get out there and impress some ladies with it. You’re ready.

Dating Advices and Dating Tips - Recognize “The Key Friend” in the Group

When you’re out at night and meet girls, they’re often in groups. I’m going to stir up some trouble here, - you don’t need the whole group to like you. Just one girl. “The Key Friend” - if you win her over, and suggest your plans to her, then she’ll sell the rest of her friends on the idea.

Here’s how to figure out who the Key Friend is… some of these may seem weird, but after talking with tons of groups, I find these guidelines hold up surprisingly well.

1. If the girls are close to each other in cuteness, the cuter girl is usually the Key Friend.
2. If the girls are far apart from each other in cuteness, the less cute girl is usually the Key Friend.

Other factors that determine it (don’t need to memorize these, just be familiar):

• Birthdays: If it’s her birthday, she’s Key.
• Bad times: If one girl is having a bad night, she’s Key and if you turn it around you’re in great shape.
• Visitors and tourists: If one girl is a tourist and the other is a local, the local is Key.
• Working early: If one woman is working early in the morning, and the other is not, the early worker is Key.

So some of these should ring familiar, right…? They’re just examples. Here’s the social science behind it:

When a girl sees another girl sacrificing to spend time with you, she rationalizes that it’s no big deal for her to spend time with you. In absence of sacrifice, higher status is looked to for the answer.

So -

If the friend is much less pretty, and decides to spend time with you, she’s sacrificing knowing it’s likely that she’ll be alone while you woo her friend. The commitment from the prettier girl seems small in comparison.

If one girl’s got work early in the morning and decides to come along, then it’s not really a big deal at all for the other girl. It’s not like she’s got to get up early, so it’s no sacrifice or anything…

In absence of considerations of sacrifice, status comes into play. So with two pretty girls, the slightly prettier one often makes the call. Locals always make the call over tourists. And so on.

If you understand this concept, you can get right into building VAC with the Key Friend, and the group falls into line. Enjoy.

Proposing To Her - Dating advices and dating tips

A handful of rituals, repeated time and again, have helped define the marriage proposal, but they amount to neither sacrament nor formula -- at best, they present a framework. The details are up to you, and once you’ve decided to pop the question, you’ll learn that posterity is peeking down on you, curious to see what makes your marriage proposal, if not timeless, at least memorable.

To that end, there are lots of ways to do this right and have the proposal remembered fondly, but there are many more ways to do it wrong. If you do it wrong, the proposal could become an extended family joke that you can never escape if she says “yes” -- or it might serve as a sad, cautionary tale to others if she says “no.” As with most things in life, there’s a big gray area between right and wrong. In this case, it’s the boneyard of forgettable marriage proposals, where the bland and uninspired methods go to die.

Your marriage proposal is one of those requisite stories that she’ll have to tell her friends and family. If you infuse the following protocol with your own imaginative details, you can give her a proposal story that she won’t mind telling for years to come because she’ll be proud of it. Plus, she’ll have a dynamite proposal story to make her friends jealous and her enemies disgusted.
proposal rules and etiquette
Inform her parents beforehand
The key word here is inform, not ask -- and you should be cautious that your language reflects as much. You can ask for their permission, but you’re not beholden to it if they don’t approve. In the end, if you give her father the opportunity to say no, you deny her the basic ability to make her own choices.

On the other hand, it’s good manners to involve your potential in-laws in the process, since for them it may suggest at least a token involvement in their daughter’s life. While this may seem old-fashioned, give tradition the benefit of the doubt.

Naturally, there may be some exceptional circumstances that would dictate a different proposal course. If she’s estranged from her parents (she hasn't spoken to them in a number of years or they are not a part of her life), informing them is not necessary. On that note, I would advise against any plans or schemes you might be harboring of using the proposal to bring them all together.
Choose the ring yourself
Involving your potential fiancée in the purchase of the engagement ring would be catastrophic to at least two of the key elements of a great proposal: surprise and romance.

If you have discussed marriage at some point prior to your proposal, then you should have ascertained what she wants in an engagement ring. If you haven’t, you’re left to your memory and your wits, which aren’t the most reliable things in the world. Whether marriage has been discussed or not, you should consider enlisting the aid of someone you trust -- one of her siblings, another relative or a close friend.
Carefully consider your stage
This is basic: Gear the venue around her tastes and her personality. If you know she would savor an audience, make sure there is one -- the bigger the better. If that’s not her style, practice some discretion and remember that the bigger the stage, the higher the stakes. While uncertainty on your part shouldn’t overly influence your marriage-proposal venue choice, you’re more likely to get a pressured and later retracted “yes” when you use the JumboTron at a crowded stadium as a proposal gimmick.

Additionally, you want a venue that’s conducive to the moment. You don’t want to catch her at a stressful time of the day or at a time when she can’t enjoy it.

Give the proposal a formal tone
In other words, don’t be casual. This is a formal marriage proposal and it requires a degree of formality on your part, beginning with how you ask. You’ll be nervous, but that won’t excuse throw offs like “wanna get married?” or “I ain’t getting on one knee.” Stick to “Will you marry me?”

Formality applies to the traditional gesture of the bended knee as well, although there’s a bit of flexibility here. If the occasion suits it -- meaning you’re in a place that physically allows for it -- bend down onto your left knee and say your piece. The gesture is old-fashioned (some might even call it cheesy), but it has a romantic flair and at the very least you should give it proper consideration. She’ll appreciate it and might even be expecting it.
Be prepared for any answer
Meaning both “yes,” “no” and “I need to think about it.”

This may not seem fair, but this process has afforded you plenty of time to make the decision to propose. Consequently, she deserves equal time if she needs it. Every man wants a resounding “yes,” but not every man will get it -- no matter how well-prepared the proposal is.
Be present for her reaction
Some of the more extreme or elaborate proposal ideas floating around the internet will ultimately result in your lady being asked by billboards, computers and blimps. No matter what the plan is, when the question is popped you need to be with her. Period.
Take a unique approach
Finally, tailor your approach to her and to your relationship. Give it a context. In other words, throwing on 100 pounds of armor and riding in on a white horse is only romantic if there’s some greater relevance to it. Don’t be unimaginative and stereotypical. Spending hundreds of dollars on an elaborate proposal with “the works” makes little sense if a well-written poem would better contextualize your relationship.
decent proposal
A proposal of marriage is a serious matter, but the proposal itself doesn’t need to be so serious -- it can be fun, romantic, wild, or all three. Even if your proposal features little beyond a ring and a question, you can still give her a story to tell and earn a ”yes.” And you needn't fear simplicity. In fact, the more elaborate the proposal, the more things can go wrong, which may lead to a detour from your fundamental goal: asking the woman you love for her hand in marriage and to spend the rest of her life with you.

Dating Advice : Phone Call Rules : Dating tips and dating advices for men

Dating tips and Dating advices for the day:
Women love the phone. To some, curling up with a glass of wine and the phone is the equivalent of us men hitting the pool hall. To guys, the phone is an alien world -- one that we visit as rarely and briefly as possible. And when we do make a call, we often feel like a fish out of water, which is perhaps why calling women is sometimes daunting.

But, the harsh reality is that making the phone call is needed if you want to succeed with women. In order to help you navigate your way through one of the most danger-fraught areas of dating, I’ve developed a guide of some basic phone call rules.
Wait two days to call
The first phone call rule to consider is when to call. Call too soon and you’ll reek of desperation; call too late and she may have lost all interest in you. Although some guys claim that the timing has to be precise -- almost to the hour -- you do have some margin for error.

If you've just acquired her number, wait at least two days before calling. Don't make the mistake of calling her the very next day just to let her know that you're interested -- she'll think you have no real life to get on with. But don't wait too long -- make that call within four days, before she gets angry or, worse, forgets who you are. Nothing is more humiliating than trying to jog her memory with the happenings of the night that you met: "I met you the other day; the funny guy with the cornflower blue tie..."

Once you enter the dating phase of the relationship, this phone call rule becomes more relaxed. After a date, always call within two days. You don’t have to arrange another date with this call; it can be made simply to thank her for a good time. It's also a good chance to gauge her interest level.
Have a reason for your call
This phone call rule states that you should always have a reason to call her. Women love to sit on the phone and chat the hours away, but they should do this with friends, not you, Romeo. Call her up with a purpose in mind; it can be as simple as to check or confirm something. For example, if she’s a fashionista, you can call her for some style pointers. Throughout the conversation take charge of it and steer it. Don't let her spin it and go off on a tangent; what starts as a simple mention of a seafood restaurant can turn into her recounting all the fishing trips that her dad dragged her on.

After three or so months, the phone call rules deem it acceptable to be more spontaneous in making a call. You still must have a reason for it, but the reason needn’t be as rigid as it was in the earlier stages. You can call her to tell her about a movie you just saw or how the business trip is going, but it's still forbidden to let her know that you’re calling just to hear her voice. If you must do this, have a fake reason to call, no matter how transparent it is -- besides, she’ll likely find it endearing.

While you are steering the talk, don't treat it like a call to your buddy: "Beer. Eight o'clock. See ya." Women need some substance in a call -- a little bit of padding, if you will.
Keep it brief
So, aside from the real reason for the call, what do you talk about? Ideally, you are calling to get to a point, keep it sweet and get out of there. Keep in mind that this is the warm-up for the date, not a date through technology, so do most of the talking in person. In the real world, however, she will want to talk for a while. Indulge her desire, but adhere to this phone call rule: Keep it short, with her wanting more.

Although you're taking charge of the call, don't dominate the conversation. Humor is always good, but don't overdo it or you’ll come across as a clown. Do not moan about your job, the football game or that really bad beat at poker -- these topics are for friends and bars. Don't open up about your fears or your hopes and sit alone in your favorite armchair, chatting until the sun comes up. The best thing to talk about is her.

You got her number, so you must know a little something about her -- talk about these things to personalize the call. Ask open-ended questions about her work, her friends or how her day has been; the beautiful part about such questions is that you can usually reply with just ”Yes” or ”Mmm” while still concentrating on the Xbox. Don't be afraid to move things along if she lingers on one topic too long.
End the call first
Just like the tired showbiz cliche, leave her wanting more. The key here is for you to be the one who terminates the call. The worst thing you can do is let the girl talk herself out and be the one to end the conversation. Don't be too brusque, but end the call when you want to.

At the start of the conversation you can tell her that the call will be quick. You can also have an excuse ready, such as an appointment to go to, pretending that someone is at the door or that you just got back from the gym and need to take a shower. Whenever you’re ready, just pull your excuse and hang up. You could even set a timer to give her five minutes then, bang! You're out of there.

The phone call rule to keep calls short and to the point is a very important one to adhere to: Women love to chat with their friends on the phone and if your phone time starts to outweigh time spent on a date, there's a danger of drifting into the friend zone.

By the way, never get into the ”You hang up,” “No, you hang up" thing. Just say OK and hang up if she tries to play that game.
Leave a message
If you get her answering service, don’t leave a message on your first attempt, despite the fact that she has caller ID. Wait a day to avoid looking desperate or aggressive before calling a second time, but this time leave a message. Keep your message short and safe -- meaning that you shouldn’t try to be too funny because it doesn't translate well in a message.

Don't overthink what to say, just speak normally. Always assume that her friends are with her and will hear it -- or at worst, her parents. Always ask her to return your call; this puts the ball in her court and if she doesn't call back, don't chase it -- she might be avoiding you.
Keep text messages to the point
As a society, we are increasingly communicating through non-verbal means. There's nothing strange about asking for a girl’s e-mail and contacting her through that. But the rules slightly shift here due to the lack of tone, timing and variable response times, all of which make these forms or communication a virtual minefield.

As with a verbal message, keep your text short, to the point, clear, and ask for a response. Don't try to initiate too much conversation through these means and try to get her on the phone as soon as possible. The immediate contact makes it seem more real. SMS should really only be used for practical functions, such as setting times and places.

Bear in mind these messages can be bounced around the globe in a matter of seconds, so don’t send anything embarrassing. Emoticons are the electronic equivalent of facial gestures, so use them to show that you are joking or being sarcastic. If you have no problem coming across as a player, flirting should be fine. But if you have any doubts about your ability, save it for the date -- the potential for failure is exponential with text.
got a hang up?
Not every phone call will go perfectly and some will never get returned. Remember that the hard part is getting the number; once you've managed that, she will be expecting your call. So, set your timer, remember these phone call rules and dial that number.

Dating tips - The One Thing Single Women Hate - Don’t Do It - : Dating advice and dating tips for men

“You can’t bore a woman into feeling attracted to you…”

I realize that this may sound like an obvious statement, but judging by the emails that I get week in and week out, maybe it’s not as obvious as it might seem to some guys. In fact, when I think back on my own experiences with women, I am definitely guilty of trying to bore women into feeling attracted to me… So, what do I mean by this silly sounding statement?

Well, let’s start with some ideas that I hear in one form or another all the time:

• “I was a perfect gentleman on our date, but she didn’t call me back, and I can’t reach her…”
• “I don’t want to use any ‘techniques’ with women because I feel like that would be ‘manipulating’ her…”
• “I want a girl who will like me for who I am…”
• “I give her everything she wants, take her out, buy her things, and I don’t understand why she doesn’t feel the same way towards me that I feel towards her…”
• “She tells me that she only likes me as a friend, then she goes out with these guys who treat her like crap instead of going out with a guy like me that would treat her wonderfully and give her everything she wants…”

And the list goes on and on…

Now, I realize that these statements are actually different from each other, and deal with different issues. But the common denominator in each of them is: you’re not behaving in a way that is pushing her attraction buttons. In most of these cases, you’re guilty of trying to bore her into feeling.

I got one letter recently where a guy was telling me that he had taken a girl out on a date, but that there wasn’t any “spark”… but he still felt attracted to the girl. He seemed to think that just because nothing obvious was bad about the date, that this girl should also feel attracted to him. (Maybe he thought that a few
more uninteresting, boring dates would cause her to open her eyes and see the light).

Here are a few common problems that lead to “boring date-itis“:

1. Playing it “safe”. Following her lead, not saying anything that you think will upset her and making sure that you’re “proper”.
2. Talking about boring things. Like jobs, family, weather, etc., because it’s “what people talk about to get to know each other.”
3. Being boring.

Playing it Safe

I can remember when I thought that the proper way to act on a date was to talk about socially acceptable topics, act sterile and quiet, and generally try to make sure that she got whatever she wanted. Oh, was this a huge mistake.

Generally speaking, women are bored to death by this kind of behavior. When you meet a girl for a cup of tea or go out to dinner, it’s time to have fun, not to be her personal ass kisser! Playing it safe and kissing up to her is a sure way to get either an expensive relationship or a woman who won’t call you back.

Talking About Boring Things

Don’t talk about your job and your family Boring!

Guys who are trying to convince women that they’re “nice”, talk about their families (If you really want to be a loser, carry pictures around with you and show them off). Talking about families is “courtship” behavior, and it will put her into the old “this guy is boring” frame of mind. Unless you’re related to John F. Kennedy or someone even more interesting, keep the family history to yourself!

As a quick note, I want to mention that you have to know not only how to not be boring, but you must also know how to communicate using the “language of attraction”… which is another topic completely

Being Boring

So, what does a “boring” guy act like? Well, for starters he acts like he’s not comfortable in the situation… Nervous smiles. Apologizing. Agreeing with her opinions all the time. Asking her what she’d like to do. Holding your body in an unsure, insecure way. That’s a good start.

Mix in a few uncomfortable silences and you’ve got the makings for her running as fast as she can and changing her phone number to save herself from
another one of your boring calls!

So, what’s the answer? What’s the secret to
making her feel attracted to you and not bored out of her skull? I thought you’d never ask. Here are a few ideas for starters:

1. Take her somewhere that has a lot going on… somewhere that has interesting conversation built in. I like funky areas that have lots of eclectic, artsy, trendy shops. You can’t walk through one of these areas without having an interesting conversation. There are all kinds of interesting things from tattoo artists to funky hat shops to ultra-trendy clothing stores. Most cities have an area like this, and I’d suggest you go check it out.

2. Talk about something that isn’t boring. One of my favorite things to do is to get her to talk about her life, then find things to make fun of. This is a great opportunity for cocky and funny…

You: “So, tell me something interesting.”
Her: “Like what?”
You: “What, you can’t think of even one interesting thing about yourself or your life? I think I need to go before this gets any worse…”

You get the idea…

3. If there is a silence, never let it be uncomfortable. I think that it’s great to stop talking when you’re first getting to know a woman. But don’t do it in a way that sends chills up her spine.

If the conversation goes cold for a few moments, just pay attention to something else for a minute. Think about something funny to say and laugh to yourself. She’ll say “What? What are you laughing about?”… which is a great lead in for about 1,000 different cocky/funny answers.

If the conversation stops, be cool. Just act like you’re with a friend, act totally casual, and pick it back up later. Just don’t act nervous and uncomfortable!

4. Don’t be predictable. There is an area of the human brain called “Broca’s Region” that is constantly anticipating what is about to happen, then discounting the predictable. In other words, the more predicable you are, the faster you will be considered boring.

Learn to say random things. Disagree with her… (without sounding like a whiny little girl). Tell her that you think Britney Spears looks like a dog…

If you’re boring, read a couple of books on how to tell stories. Or get a book on comedy to learn how to be funny and tell jokes. Just do whatever you have to do to avoid being predictable! And do whatever you have to do to learn how to make a woman feel attraction.

OK, I think you’re getting the idea. Women don’t want boring. A woman would rather be with an interesting, fun guy than with a rich, handsome, predictable, boring one (and the women who want the rich boring guy are often boring themselves…).

Once a woman starts to feel that magical, emotional and physical response called attraction, the entire situation changes, and you start having the kinds of success with women that most men only dream about. And most women go through life wishing, hoping, and dreaming that they will someday find a man that can make them feel this amazing feeling…

How to impress a guy or girl : - Dating advices and dating tips for men and women.

This is the question we askd our readers on dating advices and dating tips.

Are you highly successful when it comes to making a good impression on the opposite sex?

Does a first date usually lead up to a few more?

Is it the art of conversation that has fuelled your popularity?

Give us the lowdown on your smooth talk!

We invite our readers who have the gift of gab to tell us what kind of lines they use to have the opposite sex eating out of their hands. Ladies, tell us what gets the guys going, and guys, tell us what has the ladies swooning.

Come, share your dating tactics with other Get Ahead readers! Post your advice, experiences and opinions on the message board below.

here r the answers from our readers:

How to impress the opposite sex
by jal shakti on Aug 07, 2007 11:57 AM | Hide replies

It all depends upon the type of person you are going to meet.Keeping all things aside ,I'd say that we should be neat -clean, healthy,well dressed and should not have bad breath,Good,looks physique,charecter,with the ability to converse in good language(sweet words) and a purse full with money and the patience to take her around for shopping & movies / entertainment & parties.Above all should be willing always,for any thing and any time.

How to Impress
by HariOm Chawla on Aug 05, 2007 10:00 PM | Hide replies

Don't make any conscious effort to make good impression. Just be yourself. You are an individual; she is also an idividual, though of the opposite sex. Just have a free, frank talk. If you have common interests, likes and dislikes; it is O.K. Treat her as a person, and give full respect.

100% many womans be pataoed!
by Phaltu Uloo on Aug 01, 2007 06:53 PM | Hide replies

I is thinking for impress womans,problem not: first oil the hairs (better with coconut oil), make straight parting. Put powder on face, istri jean-pant and bush-shirt and putting
blue-strap hawai chappals. Stand on street corner with mobile inside ears and talk the English with amrikan style when womans
coming.Please not to talk the BC & MC language.
100% many womans be pataoed! If not patoed,no tension, problem not; Change coconut hair oils. Use Rai ka tel. 100% chance to Aish karo! PS: after pataoing, please do not forget PU.

How to impress the opposite sex
by on Aug 01, 2007 02:46 PM

Politeness and honesty of thoughts and the conviction with which you talk to a girl can do wonders. Restraint in self praise and excessive praise of your girl friend at times makes your feelings look fake. One must be humble, caring and decent and not be on the look of an oppertunity to display physical gestures like you wanting to hold her hand or putting it round her waist. You may be looked upon as a person who is in a hurry to be physical without understanding the girls nature and attitude. Girls want themselves to be understood, feel comfortable in your company and then once they are satisfied about your nature things would flow gradually and desirously. Dont ever try to push your way or impose things and conditions on issues which are talked about in your conversation. The first round of conversation should be general and not too specific but you must remember that it should not at all be probing. This would reflect that you are a pile on. Ajay

Big Joke!
by vipul parmar on Aug 01, 2007 01:19 PM

I think the creator of the story is frustrated with girls and actually trying to be gay either so he wants people's opinion for his last hope.
You dumbo every hole have different key as every girl or boy have different turn ons and one has to play as and when required.

There are no standard rules available in the world which helps a person to impress opposite sex except you study psychology and use those rules in real life.

dating tips
by Calvin Hobbes on Aug 01, 2007 01:17 PM | Hide replies

1. Do not try to impress her at all. Just be your natural self.
2. Don't be serious.
3. Now if you really want to impress her, take her to a place she never dreamt of. Let me be clear on this.. If you don't have anything which could impress her do not try to impress her. Now suppose you own a mall or a merc or something flashy and expensive, just show it to her without assuming anything,

Now put your comments in the comments list. We will publish the selected ones.

10: Things We Love About Women - dating advices and dating tips for men

Most men really, really like women. That may seem a bit like telling you that water is wet, but it's true. If there is a God, men should bow down and thank him for blessing us with such beautiful creatures in the opposite sex.

Of course, we usually aren't shy about showing our gratitude -- we tend to turn into slobbering piles of putty when a woman does just about anything. It's not always the scandalously mini mini-skirt or the cleavage-baring V-neck that does it (and this is by no means a call to outlaw these wonderful things). Instead, it's often the little, innocuous actions and displays that have the biggest effect on men.

Read on for the top 10 little things a woman does that drives us crazy.

Number 10

She goes for the heart through the stomach
All that fluffy talk about the sensuality of food contains morsels of truth, especially when the sweaty, apron-clad woman making it is doing so purely for your benefit. And it won't just be the kitchen that'll heat up if you start feeding each other with your hands. So eat up and enjoy. If you thank her the right way, you might even get out of doing the dishes.

Number 9

Her nipples stand up, and she lets them show
Jennifer Aniston's permanently erect nipples were one of the only things that made watching Friends tolerable for dutiful boyfriends across North America. Breasts are like ice cream sundaes to men, and the mind-blowing hint of hard nipples isn't just the cherry: It's more like the whip cream, the chocolate sauce, the chopped nuts, the caramel sprinkles, and the cherry on top. They're a sneak preview of what lies beneath, and they fill our heads with delicious imagery. So take off the damn sweater, please.

Number 8

She gives us the look
Most guys give just about every girl they come across the cursory once-over, but when that gaze is returned with a sultry, suggestive look, let's just say it immediately causes a tingling sensation "down there." With one such subtle glance, all the built-up stress and tension of the hunt is released. It confirms everything that was hoped for and gives the green light to swoop in for the kill. And nothing is hotter than that.

Number 7

She puts on lip gloss
Women think men love the soft, shiny lips that result from wearing lip gloss. In reality, we just love watching them put it on. In fact, why hasn't someone made a three-hour DVD devoted to girls applying lip balm, lipstick or anything else of that ilk? The head slyly tilted back, the mouth just slightly agape, the eyes closed -- what isn't sexy about that image?

Number 6

She dresses down
Give any girl a platinum card and six hours in front of a mirror, and she'll end up looking fantastic. But the real test (along with the real turn-on) is how a woman looks without designer jeans or makeup. If a girl can look downright hot in her laidback duds, it speaks to her natural beauty and shows that she has the capacity to be low maintenance. You can keep your Calvin Klein and MAC-aided diva; I'll take the casual cutie with her hair tucked into a bun, bra-lessly wearing a worn-out shirt.

Number 5

She talks blue out of the blue
No one likes a potty mouth. In fact, it's kind of a turnoff when a girl drops nonstop F-bombs. But when a normally prim and proper young lass loses herself in the moment and let's something downright nasty slip from her mouth, it can crank the heat up to dizzying levels.

Number 4

She hits the gym
Maybe it's the skimpy shorts and sports bras. Or it could be the grunts and labored, sweaty breathing. It may even be the litany of compromising exercises that get women bent into a breathtaking array of flexibility-testing positions. Whatever the reason, women somehow manage to turn a trip to the gym into a hot and heavy foreplay session. At least they did until some prude came up with "Women Only" gyms, and robbed men of the only reason they had to go in the first place.

Number 3

She gets close to a friend on the dance floor
Two girls grinding on the dance floor is a lot like wrestling: Even though you know it's all fake, you still can't help but like it. It doesn't take a study by Kinsey to figure out why men are blown away by this sight. Sweaty, drunk girls groping each other, the air charged with sexual energy -- and it's not even happening on DVD! Inevitably, some doughhead will ruin it for everyone by trying to sneak into the middle, but can you really blame him?

Number 2

She gives a sneak peek at the goods
Men are very easily visually aroused -- that's why porn is a multi-billion-dollar industry. So catching an unintended glimpse of a girl's "unmentionables" immediately gets the hormones flowing. Catching a peek at a lacy thong or watching the seductive trip of a dress strap as it fortuitously slips off a shoulder can do more for the libido than the raunchiest full frontal ever could.

Number 1

She suggests watching something dirty
Most men aren't particularly proud of their porn obsession (pornographers are just so good at marketing it to us!). So it goes without saying that having a girl suggest a "blue movie" is as big a relief as it is a turn-on. Who doesn't get charged up watching beautiful professionals pleasuring each other while doing some pleasuring of their own? Dirty flicks also provide lots of great ideas and suggestions (along with a bit of penis envy) and can keep things super-steamy for hours. Bonus: You can watch her searching for the right movie at the store for a glimpse into those closet ideas she isn't quite ready to reveal yet.

what men secretly enjoy

When a hot chick in a tight shirt or jeans walks down the street, it's no surprise to see the head of every man she passes swivel with varying degrees of subtleness. But what most women don't realize is that far less than curve-hugging clothes is required to light our fires. There are a myriad of seemingly innocuous things females do that are infinitely more arousing than a blatant flaunting of the goods.

Do Pick-up Lines Really Work? - dating advices and dating tips

We have probably heard almost every pick-up line invented on earth, from the usual “What's your sign” to the cheesiest of “I must be in heaven because I'm seeing an angel.” Men usually use this as a way to break the ice, but do they really work?

Truth is, it can be helpful, and some of the lines does magic with the ladies. Pick-up lines are best useful among guys who wanted to try the dating circuit for the first time. So what should you do to make it really work? Here are our pick-up line tips that we hope would be helpful.

Pick-up lines work at the start of the date – Pick-up lines are meant to jump-start a conversation with your date or to give her a favorable impression of you. Blurting out a new pick-up line every time you talk to your date is not a good idea.

Make your line sincere – You won't achieve a lot of success in your dates if you speak out your lines as if you're memorizing a math formula. Pick-up lines only work if you say it from inside of you.

Use a line that would make her smile – The best pick-up lines are the ones that would make your date smile at you or laugh with you (not AT you). For starters, you can complement about her beauty and compare it to something exotic or beautiful as well. You could also try creating a joke as you comment about the event both of you are in, like when both of you are in a art exhibit or in a dance night.

Learn from your mistakes – Do not be afraid that the line would not work. If you experienced failure on your first date, at least you learned not to use it again. As you gain more and more positive (as well as negative) replies from your dates, you also gather more and more information on what to do and what not to do in pick-up lines.

Incorporate your line to your personality – Internalize your strong points, such as your positive attitude and beliefs, into your pick-up lines. The result is that the lines are not the only starting point in your dating, but also the personality that you display to her.

Do not rely on your lines too often – Use your lines every once in a while, especially if the the girl you want to pursue is difficult to please. Sometimes, a simple “Hi,” “How are you doing,” and introducing your name with a smile is enough to meet the woman you like.

Try making up your own lines – Like I said before, girls have probably heard a lot of pick-up lines that they might say out loud the continuation of your lines. If you can, create unique pick-up lines that are positive and void of double-entendres (to create a favorable impression).

10: Ways To Turn Digits Into Dates - dating advices for men: dating tips

Have you ever gotten a woman’s phone number, but when you called, things got "weird" and you never ended up seeing her again? Make no mistake -- turning a phone number into a date isn’t always easy. When to call, what to say, how to handle voicemail… obviously there are tons of "landmines" you need to navigate through in order to actually get together. Use these 10 tips to help you do it right.

Number 10

Conquer your fear

You would never guess it, but one of the biggest mistakes most guys make on the phone is this: THEY NEVER CALL. When you get a number, it's easy to tell yourself you'll wait a couple of days before calling, but then the days turn into weeks, and then you can't find the number or -- worse yet -- you call and find out that while you were procrastinating she met a new guy she's crazy about. Ouch.

Listen, fear happens to the best of us… just don't let it get the best of you. She gave you the number because she WANTS you to call her. Don’t let her down. Call her a couple of days after you meet. And relax -- she WANTS to hear from you.

Number 9

Keep it short

Most guys have the misconception that you need to have a long conversation on the phone in order to get a woman to go out with you. Well, actually, nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, if you talk too long you send the message that you don't have a very busy life… or worse, you risk BORING her. Instead, keep it short and sweet and leave her wanting MORE.

Number 8

End it first

Want to know a simple secret that 99% of men don't know? When you're dealing with a woman, always be the one who ends the interaction. When you do, you send a subtle -- yet clear -- message that you have other important things in your life BESIDES her, and that you're the one in charge. Women love to be with men who are leaders and this is a simple way to show her that you're EXACTLY the kind of guy she wants.

Number 7

Don't reassure her

When you end the conversation, resist the temptation to say "I'll give you a call" or "We'll talk again." And don't set up a meeting or a date on the first call either. When you leave the future open and uncertain, you help her see you as a CHALLENGE and a MYSTERY -- “Is he going to call me again? Why didn't he ask me out? Does he like me?” -- Getting a woman intrigued and curious about you is ALWAYS a good thing, and this is a great way to do it.

Number 6

Show her that you have a busy life

There are few things you can do that dial up a woman's attraction for you more than being a guy with a busy life. We all want what we can't have, and when something is hard to get, we value it more. So after your first call, wait a couple of days -- she'll be wondering what you've been so busy with -- and then call her again. And again, keep the conversation short and to the point. Tell her that you are really busy but you have a couple of nights free this week, then ask her what her schedule is like.

Number 5

Limit the time frame

When you agree on a date, be SPECIFIC about what you are going to do and how long you'll be together. You can say something like, “Let's meet at Tom's on Thursday at 8:00 p.m. for 20 minutes or so and have a quick drink. That way if you turn out to be scary I can say I have to shampoo my dog or something and run away.”

When you set up a short time frame for the meeting, you avoid expectations. You won’t be forced to spend time with someone you aren’t into, and should you decide she isn’t for you -- or should she end up looking like a wildebeest when you finally meet her -- you have an easy “out.”

Most importantly, telling her upfront about why you only want to meet for 20 minutes challenges her to show you that she isn’t weird or crazy, and it DRAMATICALLY increases the chances of her showing up. Nice.

Number 4

Disarm her objections

Many women will test you on the phone and resist your idea to get together. What's happening unconsciously is she wants to see if you have a backbone. So DON'T CAVE IN. The best way to respond to a test is to DIAL IT UP A NOTCH. Say something like, "Don't be silly! It's just 20 minutes for tea, you dork." Turn the tables on her like this and she'll see that you're a "cut above" the other guys.

Number 3

Dealing with voicemail

These days, it seems like many men are AFRAID to leave a message for a woman. Well guess what, fellas? Women are onto all of the “tricks” these days. I’m talking about blocking your number and calling a hundred times until she answers, or calling from different numbers so she doesn’t know it’s you.

The good news for you is that since 90% of men make these “mistakes,” leaving a message for a woman is going to set YOU apart. This shows extreme confidence to a woman because she knows that you are putting yourself out there and that you are confident that she is going to get back to you… unlike the other wussies she’s met who had to hide behind blocked numbers.

Keep the message short and sweet. Remind her who you are, but don’t get into great detail. For example, you could say, “Hey Jennifer… Kevin here from the Square Friday night… it’s 4:45… give me a buzz when you get this at XXX-XXX-XXXX.” Simple and to the point is always best.

If she doesn’t call you back, give it three days and try again. If you don’t get a call back this time, MOVE ON. You have better things to do than stalk a woman -- and that’s how women see it when you call again after leaving two messages, ESPECIALLY if you call from a different number the next time.

Number 2

Get her right number -- every time

Here’s another trick that will save you a TON of time and hassle: Instead of asking for her number right away, say, “Take my number down.” After she puts it in her phone say, “Call me right now so I have yours.” BAM -- you’ll get the correct phone number every time. And just as important, she now has your name in her phone, so she will know who it is when you call. Women are 10 times more likely to answer a call from someone they know, so this will DRAMATICALLY decrease your chances of running into her voicemail.

Number 1

Be spontaneous

If the phone continues to trip you up, try avoiding it altogether. When you meet a woman, instead of getting her number, suggest grabbing a coffee or tea RIGHT NOW. Even a 15 to 20 minute "mini-date" can give you a sense of what kind of woman she is and help you decide if you want to see her again.

If the phone continues to be a BIG obstacle for you, it’s probably because you aren’t creating enough ATTRACTION in a woman when you first meet her to get her to want to see you again. Luckily, this is a fairly easy fix as well.

10: First Date Faux Pas - Dating advices and dating tips for men

Women are harsh critics, and being critical is exactly what we do on a first date. We’re analyzing your clothing, your table manners, what you say, and what you don’t say. If you want to pass the test (and advance to date number two), be sure not to commit any of these top 10 first date crimes.

Number 10

Being a knight in shining armor

You pick up your date and hand her a dozen red roses. “Your chariot awaits,” you say as you race ahead to get the car door for her… the first of many doors. In your world, chivalry is not dead -- it’s very much alive and requires you to open every single door for her. Well, I hate to shatter your Prince Charming dreams, but women don’t expect you to be a doorman. In fact, this can be downright annoying. Of course, we don’t want a heathen who shovels food into his mouth, talks with his mouth full and keeps his elbows on the table either. That’s just plain rude (and a major turnoff). What we do want is something in between: not a knight in shining armor or a slob, but a gentleman.

Number 9

Choosing a bad venue

You’ve offered to pick the restaurant, so which one do you choose?
a) Fast food joint
b) Happy hour at Hooters
c) Fancy schmancy restaurant (where entrees start at $50)
d) None of the above

If you answered d) None of the above, give yourself a pat on the back. That’s the winning ticket. The other options serve a purpose, but they’re not appropriate first date venues. A fast food joint tells her you’re cheap, Hooters tells her you’re a pervert (even though they do have great wings) and fancy schmancy tells her you’re a show off. Women want something that’s not too cheap and not too expensive, but just right -- a place that falls in between fancy and cheap, so that it doesn’t look like you’re trying too hard or that you’re not trying hard enough.

Number 8

Being wishy-washy

When she asks where you want to go for dinner, you hem and haw and eventually say, “Doesn’t matter.” And then at dinner, you spend hours deliberating over the menu and end up asking the waitress what she recommends. Wrong and wrong. Women don’t want a spineless guy who can’t make a decision to save his life. We want backbone, we want direction, we want confidence. In fact, some women rate confidence higher than appearance and sense of humor, so make sure you show her you’ve got lots of it -- just try to avoid being overly confident to the point of arrogance.

Number 7

Getting transfixed by TV

You’re listening intently as she goes on about her sister who just got accepted to the Peace Corps and her brother who’s doing his Master’s in chemical engineering. While you’re honestly enthralled by the conversation, you briefly glance at the TV perched behind the bar for one teeny tiny second… and you get busted! You might not think it’s a big deal (come on, you barely looked), but to her it’s huge. Why? Because even though you were listening intently, she takes your sneak peek as a screaming sign that you’re not interested. There goes date number two. The easiest way to avoid the TV trap is by not picking a place with TVs in the first place, and if you do wind up at a sports bar, strategically position your chair so you won’t be tempted.

Number 6

Being too honest

Okay, so you just got out of rehab, but there’s not need to share this tidbit of information with your date (at least not if you want to see her again). I’m not saying you should lie (honesty is the best policy), but you don’t have to tell her everything. That includes DUIs, divorces, speeding tickets, minor indictments, depression meds, the fact that you still live with mom, or that case of syphilis from a couple of years back (which hopefully has cleared up). There may be a time to come clean, but it’s definitely not on the first date. At least let her get to know you first before you start dropping truth bombs. Just remember: She probably has a few skeletons in her closer that she’s not revealing just yet either.

Number 5

Constantly interrupting

She mentions that she’s been to England. You jump in to say that you’ve been too. She goes on to say that she loves Coldplay. You jump in again to say that you saw them live at Coachella and they were great. Well, stop right there and bite your tongue. Yes, shared interests are a must, but there’s no need for you to keep interrupting her. Not only is it impolite, it tells her that you’re more interested in hearing your own voice than hers. Instead, wait till she’s done and then wow her with your similarities. Your politeness will be duly noted.

Number 4

Dressing inappropriately

Before stepping out the door on your big date, you give yourself the once over. Your jersey/ball cap/shorts/flip-flops combo (all clean and wrinkle-free) doesn’t look too bad, if you do say so yourself. Well, think again. Unless you’re taking her to a ball game (which is a totally acceptable first date venue, by the way), leave your sports jersey at home. Women put a lot of thought into their first date outfit.- a lot. Heck, they probably even went out and bought a whole new ensemble for the occasion. And while we don’t expect you to invest in new digs, we do expect you not to under-dress (see above outfit) or over-dress (three-piece suit or tuxedo). That said, there are certain articles of clothing that are always off limits. These include socks with sandals, dark shoes with white sport socks, too-tight jeans and jean shorts.

Number 3

Touching on taboo topics

Just in case you’ve been living under some rock (or have been out of the dating race for a while), the taboo topics for first date conversations are as follows: ex-girlfriends, past heartbreak, religion, politics, and money. This last one is especially important because, contrary to popular opinion, all women are not after your dough. In fact, yapping about it (in particular, how much you make and how much you have), could send your date running for the hills. Show us what your worth (and I don’t mean in a monetary sense), don’t tell us about it. Same goes for name-dropping and bragging. Leave it for the locker room where it belongs.

Number 2

Staring at the waitress

It’s not your fault the waitress is smokin’ hot or wearing a V-neck down to her navel, but under no circumstance should you acknowledge this. No lingering leers, quick looks down her top or flirting. None whatsoever. First of all, no matter how discreet you think you are, your date will notice. Secondly, women want to believe that you’re with them because you want to be with them. Sure, we know that you’d opt for a Victoria’s Secret model given the chance (just like we’d take Brad Pitt any day of the week), but Gisel is just a fantasy girl. The waitress, however, is all too real. When you acknowledge her hotness right in front of our eyes, you’re showing disrespect -- a big no-no.

Number 1

Getting loaded

You want to have a good time, and more importantly you want to show her a good time, so what do you do? You order a couple rounds of tequila shots. Tequila equals fun, right? Wrong. This is not a bachelor party it’s a first date, and whether you like it or not you’re under strict observation. Having a couple glasses of wine with dinner is one thing, but getting drunk or plying her with alcohol is another -- unless you want her to think you’re still a frat boy who hasn’t grown up. And if you’re driving, don’t even think about having more than two drinks. Safety first.

honorable mention

Texting up a storm

Everyone knows that cell phones are off limits (unless it’s work-related, in which case warn your date in advance). Well, texting may not get as much air time, but it’s just as bad. It tells your date that she’s not the most important person in the room (or in your mind), and shows her that you can’t shut the world out for one measly date. If you start to go into withdrawal, you can try and sneak in a quickie while she’s in the bathroom, just make sure you don’t get caught. That will make you seem sneaky and self-absorbed. To avoid temptation, your best bet is to ditch your Blackberry altogether. Out of sight, out of mind.