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Sunday, September 2, 2007

Dating advice and dating tips - How To Talk To Any Woman In Any Situation

This week I would like to turn the tables around and try something a little bit different. Something that just might make you take a new perspective and think about things in a way you’ve never thought about before… something that just might stir you up enough to get you to take some action…

First, I’d like you to think about the last time you saw a really attractive woman… you wanted to go over and talk to her, but for whatever reason you just didn’t do it. I’m talking about a really hot woman.

Take your time if you need it. I’m not going anywhere. Good.

Now, let me ask you something:

Did you ever stop a day or two after one of these situations happened to think about where that particular woman might be, and what she might be doing? Did you ever stop to think about what the rest of her day was like after she walked by you? About the ten or twenty other men that saw her that day who didn’t have the nerve to talk to her… and the two or three that did…? About the, most likely, boring job that she went to, the same-old-same-old “Wow, you’re beautiful” lines that she heard from the guys who got up the nerve to talk to her?

Did you ever consider that it might be useful to take a little time out and consider what it might be like to be an attractive woman, walking through life having almost every man you see light up with the “Whoa” look?

Hmmm…

What do you think we might be able to figure out if we just took a few minutes to explore what that attractive woman’s private life is like? Here are a few things that I’ve come up with:

1. Most attractive women are bored out of their minds by most men. One of the reasons for this is that guys have no idea what to do when they run into an attractive woman, so they do the same default thing: dumb look, compliment.
2. As I’ve said before, and I’m sure I’ll say many, many, many times in the future: You can’t bore a woman into feeling attracted to you. If she’s most likely got a boring life like everyone else, and you do something that every one of the other 499 guys she’s going to walk by this month did, then you’re probably not going to attract any special attention.
3. If you just start with the idea of not doing what other guys do you will be waaaaaayyy ahead of the game.

Wow, this is fun, isn’t it? Bet you never thought you’d be thinking like a woman, did ya? So, what are a few things you might do to? Maybe not be like the other 499 boring, predictable, “nice” loser guys she encountered? And maybe be interesting, attractive, attention-getting in a way that makes her feel like you might actually be someone to provide her with a pinch of spice in her life?

I thought you’d never ask…

And, as you may have already predicted, I have a few more ideas of my own (but don’t let that stop you from thinking about this on your own as often as you get a chance).

To start with, you’d probably want to get rid of the “Wow, you’re a beautiful woman, and I’m just an average guy admiring you” vibe. That’s not helping. Next, you could take a moment and think about how a guy that she would feel attracted to might act… then choose that style. My experience is that if you take an attitude of “I guess fate has good taste putting us in the same place, now let’s see if you have a personality to match your looks”, then stir in a generous portion of Cocky & Funny, you’re likely to do well.

Here’s a variation of something I’ve used myself once or twice:

* YOU: “Hey, can I ask you a quick question?” (leaning back and playing it cool, talking cool and slow)
* HER: “Sure”
* (pause.. pause.. pause for suspense)
* YOU: “Are you single?” (stone cold straight face)
* HER: “Well, um…”
* YOU: “I’ll take that as a yes…” (nodding, sly smile)
* HER: (Laughter)
* YOU: “Well, I just happen to know someone that I think might really like you… if you’re more than just a pretty face, that is… He’s funny, has great taste, and I think you’d like him… I’d love to sit down and get your life story, but I’m on my way somewhere… do you have email?” (very cool, calm tone of voice)
* HER: “Yes.”
* YOU: Great… (takes out pen)… write it down for me, and I’ll have, uh (clears throat) HIM send you an email.”
* (Get email and wish the lady a good day.)

Now, let’s talk about what just happened here.

First off, did I give her any compliments? Did I act like the other 499 guys? Did I instantly communicate that “I’m not worthy”? Hell no.

I said, “Hey, can I ask you a quick question?” in a very laid back, almost too relaxed and mysterious tone of voice (your body language is a very important component of this approach…). Anyone will respond to that with a “yes”.

Next, I did something kind of fun: I asked her directly if she was single. LOL… I really love this one. It’s so fun. Most guys will say, “Uh, I’ll bet you have a

boyfriend, huh?” or “So, do you have a man?” or some other lame thing. The question, “Are you single?”, takes women off guard. It’s great. And then being assumptive when she hesitated with an answer… in a cocky & funny way… magic.

Next, I followed up with a cocky, funny, semi-confusing little bit about “knowing someone” that might find her interesting. Now, she might think that it’s really me, but she won’t know for sure until she gets the email. And even then you might play with her a bit… “So, what did you think of my friend? I think he might like you…” etc.

The point is, I can pretty much guarantee you that this particular sequence hasn’t happened to her lately. She’s still trying to overcome her sheer awe
about how many guys in a row can ask “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”. This kind of fun approach will be a welcome breath of fresh air.

Now, I want you to do something. Go back and read it again… very carefully. Imagine it happening exactly like it’s written. Try to imagine it in a few different settings. Work on it until you can clearly see it happening in your mind’s eye. (The reason I can see it clearly is because I’ve done it so many times in real life!)

OK, so now you know how to approach women. Fantastic.

I can remember when I first learned how to start approaching women… I thought that if I could just start conversations easily, the rest of it would be a snap. Well, after meeting a lot of women, but not getting so many dates… and having the few dates I did get not go anywhere… I realized that there was a lot more to it.

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