Tips on Romancing women - Dating advices for men

This week's Q&A focuses on how to tease her without being a jerk, and how to keep the romance alive without seeming like a Wussy. David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.

How can I use your Cocky & Funny technique without going too far and turning into a real jerk? Sometimes when I tease a woman she calls me an a**hole.
Remember: There's a difference between being called an a**hole by a woman and actually being one.

If you're just being Cocky & Funny, teasing, being a challenge, etc. while being considerate, kind, physically stimulating (a-hem), and other "nice" things, and a woman calls you an "a**hole" then say, "I'm really glad you like it!" Turn it into something Cocky & Funny.

The key is to not actually become a mean, abusive guy.

Women love the challenge, but they don't like the abuse from bad guys.

Give them the positive without the negative, and you’ll be fine.

If a guy goes too far with Cocky & Funny, what’s the best way for him to recover?
This is a great question...

Often, when you're first learning how to use the Cocky & Funny attitude, you'll go overboard and make the mistake of saying something that's purely arrogant... but not funny.

No problem.

You have a few choices:

1- Say something afterwards that's funny that makes the original comment funny.

2- Say, "Oh, I'm just teasing," or give her a sly smile to let her know you were kidding.

3- Laugh at your own comment to signal that it was a joke and not to be taken seriously.

Of course, you don't want to tell a woman that you're just teasing or laugh at your own comments too often, because you'll look like a schmuck if you do.

The key to recovering is not letting the fact that you went overboard throw you off.
If she gets a little upset, just be cool and calm about the situation, and get back on track with more humor.

And don't worry about it; you're learning a skill that will increase your success with women forever, so it's OK to make a few mistakes here and there while you're learning.

If you’re in a relationship with a girl, what’s the best way you can romance her without coming across like a Wussy?
OK, as you know I don't like to venture into the "relationship" realm, but I will make a comment here…

If you have been seeing a woman for awhile, and you really want to blow her mind, do several things that she likes all in one day or evening.

Take her to her favorite restaurant, give her a gift of her favorite flowers, wear the clothes that you know she likes, rub her shoulders, and, um... give her some good lovin'.

Romance is wonderful, as long as you don't overdo it and come across as a Wussy.
Focus all of the things that she likes into one small window, and good things will come of it.

Then don't do them again for awhile... at all.

She'll talk about that night forever, and she'll always be wondering when the next one will come...
reader’s question
First the success story: I have recently met a few 8.5-9.5s and have had so much luck with getting numbers and dates with the Cocky & Funny routine. In fact, my buddy who is a model came up for the weekend and he commented on how well I have come into my own and how I remind him of... him. He was usually the master of our group in getting the girls... he just had a way with it, but what I noticed with him is that he'd find a girl he'd like and get all Wuss- like. I tried to learn from him about the initial attraction, but could never really apply it.

Then I got your book and applied that and not only was I impressed with myself, but he was impressed with the way I've changed (I used to be a big, shy Wuss). I have learned that you don’t have to be the best-looking guy in the world to attract the women you want. It’s all in the way you talk (slowly, and confidently), the way you compose yourself and the way you walk.

My question is: I met this girl who is a good 9-9.5. I was almost intimidated the first time we met, but I stuck to my guns and remembered your teachings. I was Cocky & Funny. I bust on her all the time, yet she seems a little standoffish. Although, when I talk to and go out with other girls, she immediately wants to go out (hang out, whatever). She'll comment on "I love how you joke with me" and when I tell her things like "Well thanks for flaking out on me the other night, you owe me anyway." She always says, " I owe you! I know." Then I always joke with her about being a flake and that she must be a blonde and she’s fooling everyone (she’s half black/half white with dark hair).

OK, well on to the question: What is this girl’s deal? I see her maybe two to three times every two weeks or so, and we usually hang out until the wee hours of the morning, and we always have fun. It seems like I see her more when I turn up two factors: The "busting on her" factor, and the "not caring what you’re doing right now… I’m out with this other girl" factor. In my experience, a girl is either into me, or she’s not... point blank. This girl is more flaky, and on and off more than anyone I've ever know.

Ken Oh
my comments
Well, congratulations. I know exactly how you feel... I love it that I can hang out with my guy friends who are "naturals" at meeting women and hold my own.

I'm about to push the boundaries of my normally rather politically correct way of talking about women by venturing a guess...

I'll bet you a hundred bucks that this girl is or has been either...

1- An exotic dancer
2- An escort of some kind
3- A model or actress

I know, I know... attractive women often are. But there's something about these "careers" that, in my personal experience, seems to lead to the exact kinds of flaky, wishy-washy, inconsistent behavior you're talking about.

I mean, she could also just be a dingbat. Let's not rule that out.

The reason you probably like this girl so much is because she isn't predictable.
I mean, you could have asked me anything here, and you chose to ask me about one particular situation with one particular girl.

That tells me that whatever she's doing is working, and it's probably worked all her life.