Dating Advice and dating tips : An Exercise For Eliminating Fear Of Rejection By The guy/ gal

There’s a lot of talk about “approach anxiety” when is comes to approaching and meeting someone attractive. My personal belief is that we all too often have actually “rejected” ourselves before the potential meeting ever actually happens. This is tragic, because there is a simple yet effective way to make real progress from this kind of self-limitation.

As the title has already telegraphed, what we’re talking about here is training yourself how to see yourself as others see you… and then how to see others as they see themselves.

So what does that mean?

You as a human being are in a remarkable position. Have you ever considered how wild it truly is that out of six billion plus human beings just like you on this planet, you will only ever see light through the eyes of one of them? You are confined to your own physical being, at least as far as the laws of physics apply in this life. The metaphysics of all this are, of course, a subject better suited to some other article that is not about dating and relationships. Fair enough.

But since we are focused like a laser on your total, utter and massive success in the dating world-up to and including complete control over your dating life - you’d best believe that there is tremendous value in exploring this concept more deeply from a certain perspective.

So many of us artificially limit ourselves from believing that we can possibly deserve the kind of partner we want. Going way beyond “approach anxiety“…going way beyond “getting beat by a girl” and indeed way beyond anything you’ve ever heard from me until now, it can be safely assumed that much of the problem is directly attributable to how you see yourself vs. how you see others.

Here’s what I mean.

Since you know every intimate detail of your own thoughts, fears and weaknesses-as well as your strengths, of course-you know all of your own darkest secrets. Every imperfection, every prurient thought, every doubt and indeed-every single blasted thing that would cause you humiliating embarrassment if others knew.

Armed with this knowledge, what do you do? You go out and become completely disarmed by a “beautiful” and apparently “perfect” creature of the opposite gender. In your mind, he or she is flawless.

Then comes the vortex of self-doubt. “Oh man…I could never be in her league. She’s a veritable vision of perfection…and I can’t even get into an elevator without feeling claustrophobic, come from a foreign country, need a haircut, have a big nose, have spring allergies, say stupid things when nervous, chew my toenails in private and once cheated on a math test.”

So once again you talk yourself out of being successful.

Erstwhile, your “vision of perfection” is inside her own state of being thinking, “Girl…get yourself together! Your panty lines are showing, you have stupid looking ears, are habitually late for work, snort when you laugh, have two crooked teeth and wear contact lenses. No wonder you’ve been dateless for a month now!”

Crazy stuff, isn’t it? If only we could see inside each other’s heads. Better yet, if only we could read the thoughts of others regarding us.

Well, you can’t do that, but here are two simple exercises you can do:
Eliminate private knowledge as a “limiting factor” and take notes regarding how others respond to you

First and foremost, realize that your private thoughts are not public. Nobody else can evaluate you by them, so stop using them against yourself. They do not exist in the minds of others because they cannot. Next, consider the comments you receive from people. Where you hear patterns repeated time and again it’s time to believe what you are hearing. If pointing to ways you can better yourself, do so and deserve what you want. If you hear recurring positive comments and/or see recurring positive reactions to your presence and/or interactions, begin to recognize the truly positive manner in which others perceive you. This sounds so simplistic, yet how many of us go home and obsess over self-perceived “negatives” that we are repeatedly told are positives? If you think I must be kidding, actively begin to look for clues in your social life where you have previously been oblivious. Note the patterns that you detect, and trust them.
Pretend you are walking in the shoes of someone you find attractive

Okay, here’s the “power ball”. Ready? My guess is that when you encounter someone who really motors your sexual attraction levels, that person is actually more “perfectly imperfect” than “perfect”. The next time you are practically paralyzed by attraction towards someone, I want you pretend for a moment that you were that person instead of yourself. In your darkest, most self-critical thoughts, what would you be most self-conscious about? Go ahead and in your blind attraction make an effort to approach that concept with sober judgment. You will likely identify an entire litany of faults and potential attitudes that would make him or her very insecure, at least theoretically. Ironically, you may find yourself recognizing traits and/or features that some people may be self-critical about but which are at the same time exactly what is making you so hot for this person. It’s strange for sure. But it is an eye opener.

Dating tips and dating advices - Secrets of Talking With Women

Most of us have endured some silences in our relations with women we wish hadn’t happened. Well, first, you don’t have to be scared of silences, because they can be helpful. And second, there are ways to get a sparkling conversation going from next to ZERO material.
Let’s Take a Moment to Look Left

Brief related tangent time: one question I get asked a lot is “What should I talk about?”. Sure, now you know how you’re supposed to talk, but so many guys get stuck on what to talk about. After all, those dead silences are murder for attraction, right?

First off, not so fast bad-mouthing silence. More on that later. Second, it really doesn’t matter what you talk about, so long as you make it interesting. I’ve said this again and again, but let me stress it now: you can talk about anything and it’ll be ok. You can tell a date her butt looks huge in that dress. Say it right and she won’t walk out or slap you, she’ll laugh. You can wonder aloud whether postal workers get high on stamp glue. You can go on for half an hour about the off-color corner of that rare Elvis stamp you have framed on your wall… well, ok, maybe not that one. If you talk at length about certified punchline hobbies, you might be in trouble. Unless you’re making fun of them, of course.
Can stupid stuff work? You betcha

But seriously, this isn’t rocket science. This isn’t even high school science, despite how often the word “chemistry” gets bandied about.

When I was still studying these skills, some of my “natural” friends would tell me lines they’d used with great success. I didn’t believe it. The things they related to me sounded so… dumb, I couldn’t fathom an attractive intelligent woman would go for them.

Then I saw these guys in action. Sure, I could hear the stupidity of some of the lines – the corniness, the transparency, the if-this-were-in-a-Bond-movie-I’d-groan-now quality to them. Still, they worked. I had new respect for groaners in Bond movies. The key was all in the nonverbal delivery, as we’ve talked about at length.

Ok, so now that I’ve hopefully reminded you not to worry too much about the actual content, let me add sometimes you don’t need content at all.
The Golden Silence is as good as the Golden Tongue

Strange, eh? I have one friend who isn’t a gabber, who doesn’t like to partake in anything close to small talk. And when he’s out with women, there are numerous silences. And it works. Why? Because he’s comfortable with it.

Listen, reality is all about perception. If you’re scared of awkward silences, they become awkward. If you aren’t, the silences become natural. And that kind of thing stinks of relaxed confidence.

When you’re relaxed and comfortable enough to let a silence come and it doesn’t bug you, it communicates all sorts of positive things. Relaxed Confidence. Real (no games). Uh, we need a new word here, not gravity, but the opposite of frivolity. But while staying playful. We’ll call it gravolity.

To be clear, don’t overdo this. If you never say anything, well, you’re just boring. But don’t be scared of the occasional silence, or letting the lady start a topic and playing with it. (My silent friend does this all the time – and pretty soon, the women are starting all sorts of conversations and he’s viewed as fascinating because they’re talking about things they like to talk about. Who started the conversation never really enters into their head.)

Hey, by the way, did you know that psychological studies say that the person who is least comfortable with silence in a group – and hence breaks it – is almost always the most insecure? Still want to fill every last second of air time?
Silence is nice, but… let’s talk

Still, sometimes you will find yourself in need of something to talk about. And your mind will be blank. You know the time for conversation is here – but you’re clueless how to start it.

Well, this is one of the reasons I recommend avoiding dinners and traditional dates, and prefer shared activities. Especially in fun cool areas. Who needs to worry about conversation when there’s a man on a leash walking in front of you on the sidewalk, or a shop window with a dismembered mannequin head smeared with lipstick wearing a Ronald McDonald wig and a sign saying “Love me?”

If you can’t think of anything to say in stimulating areas, then you’re just not trying. Or you’re freaking – in which case you need to use one of your relaxation triggers to get yourself calm and able to think.

Come on, some of our granddaddies kept their heads with the enemy shooting at them. You can do it with an attractive lady. But you can’t always be in a Greenwich Village knockoff. Sometimes you need to come up with topics all by your lonesome, right? Wrong. See, the definition of conversation is you have to have at least two people. And that dynamic helps a lot.
Having the conversation she wants, every time

Lets borrow a trick from sales, where the seller needs to establish a friendly connection quickly. How do they do it? They listen for key words in statements they hear. And you can do the same. One simple sentence from your favorite lady can lead to a night’s worth of dialogue.

Example:

- “Hi.”
- “No, I’m not. Or were you offering? I barely know you, and already you bring psychotropic drugs into our relationship? Wow, you are one crazy chick.” (She should be laughing, if you delivered it right and she isn’t a nun.)
- “No, I don’t do drugs on a first date!” (key word: take your pick, drugs or date)
- “Oh, but on the second you jump right in? You’ve said two things, and they both relate to illicit substances. Get your mind out of the gutter and learn to enjoy life clean too.” (Then order her a beer).

See what’s going on? Just pick a key word from her conversation, and riff off it. The above doesn’t apply because it’s too early in your duologue, but even within a few minutes of talking to anyone you’ll hear them use keywords that are important to them for whatever reason. Hook onto those and she’ll think you’re the greatest conversationalist ever – because all you talk about is what interests her.

Example:

- “That dog smells like a Thai sewer.” (key word: Thai)
- “And how would you know? When were you in Thailand?”
- “Last month, actually. It’s insane!” (key word: insane)
- “And that’s what attracted you about it? You wanted to find others as crazy as you are?”
- “No! I went to get my scuba diving certification.” (key word(s): scuba diving, and you have a topic for the next 15 minutes that you know she wants to talk about).

“Homework”

Pretty easy, eh? In fact, it’s so easy, I’m going to make your homework nice and simple. Go out and have five conversations where you cue the other person off their keywords. Have five more where you never start a topic, and see how the silence feels, bearing in mind that you are seeking it. Finally, pick five interesting eclectic spots near you, and go for a walk in them. Just comment in your head on what you see.

That’s it. Enjoy your new expression of personal wit and get out there and impress some ladies with it. You’re ready.

Dating Advices and Dating Tips - Recognize “The Key Friend” in the Group

When you’re out at night and meet girls, they’re often in groups. I’m going to stir up some trouble here, - you don’t need the whole group to like you. Just one girl. “The Key Friend” - if you win her over, and suggest your plans to her, then she’ll sell the rest of her friends on the idea.

Here’s how to figure out who the Key Friend is… some of these may seem weird, but after talking with tons of groups, I find these guidelines hold up surprisingly well.

1. If the girls are close to each other in cuteness, the cuter girl is usually the Key Friend.
2. If the girls are far apart from each other in cuteness, the less cute girl is usually the Key Friend.

Other factors that determine it (don’t need to memorize these, just be familiar):

• Birthdays: If it’s her birthday, she’s Key.
• Bad times: If one girl is having a bad night, she’s Key and if you turn it around you’re in great shape.
• Visitors and tourists: If one girl is a tourist and the other is a local, the local is Key.
• Working early: If one woman is working early in the morning, and the other is not, the early worker is Key.

So some of these should ring familiar, right…? They’re just examples. Here’s the social science behind it:

When a girl sees another girl sacrificing to spend time with you, she rationalizes that it’s no big deal for her to spend time with you. In absence of sacrifice, higher status is looked to for the answer.

So -

If the friend is much less pretty, and decides to spend time with you, she’s sacrificing knowing it’s likely that she’ll be alone while you woo her friend. The commitment from the prettier girl seems small in comparison.

If one girl’s got work early in the morning and decides to come along, then it’s not really a big deal at all for the other girl. It’s not like she’s got to get up early, so it’s no sacrifice or anything…

In absence of considerations of sacrifice, status comes into play. So with two pretty girls, the slightly prettier one often makes the call. Locals always make the call over tourists. And so on.

If you understand this concept, you can get right into building VAC with the Key Friend, and the group falls into line. Enjoy.

Proposing To Her - Dating advices and dating tips

A handful of rituals, repeated time and again, have helped define the marriage proposal, but they amount to neither sacrament nor formula -- at best, they present a framework. The details are up to you, and once you’ve decided to pop the question, you’ll learn that posterity is peeking down on you, curious to see what makes your marriage proposal, if not timeless, at least memorable.

To that end, there are lots of ways to do this right and have the proposal remembered fondly, but there are many more ways to do it wrong. If you do it wrong, the proposal could become an extended family joke that you can never escape if she says “yes” -- or it might serve as a sad, cautionary tale to others if she says “no.” As with most things in life, there’s a big gray area between right and wrong. In this case, it’s the boneyard of forgettable marriage proposals, where the bland and uninspired methods go to die.

Your marriage proposal is one of those requisite stories that she’ll have to tell her friends and family. If you infuse the following protocol with your own imaginative details, you can give her a proposal story that she won’t mind telling for years to come because she’ll be proud of it. Plus, she’ll have a dynamite proposal story to make her friends jealous and her enemies disgusted.
proposal rules and etiquette
Inform her parents beforehand
The key word here is inform, not ask -- and you should be cautious that your language reflects as much. You can ask for their permission, but you’re not beholden to it if they don’t approve. In the end, if you give her father the opportunity to say no, you deny her the basic ability to make her own choices.

On the other hand, it’s good manners to involve your potential in-laws in the process, since for them it may suggest at least a token involvement in their daughter’s life. While this may seem old-fashioned, give tradition the benefit of the doubt.

Naturally, there may be some exceptional circumstances that would dictate a different proposal course. If she’s estranged from her parents (she hasn't spoken to them in a number of years or they are not a part of her life), informing them is not necessary. On that note, I would advise against any plans or schemes you might be harboring of using the proposal to bring them all together.
Choose the ring yourself
Involving your potential fiancée in the purchase of the engagement ring would be catastrophic to at least two of the key elements of a great proposal: surprise and romance.

If you have discussed marriage at some point prior to your proposal, then you should have ascertained what she wants in an engagement ring. If you haven’t, you’re left to your memory and your wits, which aren’t the most reliable things in the world. Whether marriage has been discussed or not, you should consider enlisting the aid of someone you trust -- one of her siblings, another relative or a close friend.
Carefully consider your stage
This is basic: Gear the venue around her tastes and her personality. If you know she would savor an audience, make sure there is one -- the bigger the better. If that’s not her style, practice some discretion and remember that the bigger the stage, the higher the stakes. While uncertainty on your part shouldn’t overly influence your marriage-proposal venue choice, you’re more likely to get a pressured and later retracted “yes” when you use the JumboTron at a crowded stadium as a proposal gimmick.

Additionally, you want a venue that’s conducive to the moment. You don’t want to catch her at a stressful time of the day or at a time when she can’t enjoy it.

Give the proposal a formal tone
In other words, don’t be casual. This is a formal marriage proposal and it requires a degree of formality on your part, beginning with how you ask. You’ll be nervous, but that won’t excuse throw offs like “wanna get married?” or “I ain’t getting on one knee.” Stick to “Will you marry me?”

Formality applies to the traditional gesture of the bended knee as well, although there’s a bit of flexibility here. If the occasion suits it -- meaning you’re in a place that physically allows for it -- bend down onto your left knee and say your piece. The gesture is old-fashioned (some might even call it cheesy), but it has a romantic flair and at the very least you should give it proper consideration. She’ll appreciate it and might even be expecting it.
Be prepared for any answer
Meaning both “yes,” “no” and “I need to think about it.”

This may not seem fair, but this process has afforded you plenty of time to make the decision to propose. Consequently, she deserves equal time if she needs it. Every man wants a resounding “yes,” but not every man will get it -- no matter how well-prepared the proposal is.
Be present for her reaction
Some of the more extreme or elaborate proposal ideas floating around the internet will ultimately result in your lady being asked by billboards, computers and blimps. No matter what the plan is, when the question is popped you need to be with her. Period.
Take a unique approach
Finally, tailor your approach to her and to your relationship. Give it a context. In other words, throwing on 100 pounds of armor and riding in on a white horse is only romantic if there’s some greater relevance to it. Don’t be unimaginative and stereotypical. Spending hundreds of dollars on an elaborate proposal with “the works” makes little sense if a well-written poem would better contextualize your relationship.
decent proposal
A proposal of marriage is a serious matter, but the proposal itself doesn’t need to be so serious -- it can be fun, romantic, wild, or all three. Even if your proposal features little beyond a ring and a question, you can still give her a story to tell and earn a ”yes.” And you needn't fear simplicity. In fact, the more elaborate the proposal, the more things can go wrong, which may lead to a detour from your fundamental goal: asking the woman you love for her hand in marriage and to spend the rest of her life with you.

Dating Advice : Phone Call Rules : Dating tips and dating advices for men

Dating tips and Dating advices for the day:
Women love the phone. To some, curling up with a glass of wine and the phone is the equivalent of us men hitting the pool hall. To guys, the phone is an alien world -- one that we visit as rarely and briefly as possible. And when we do make a call, we often feel like a fish out of water, which is perhaps why calling women is sometimes daunting.

But, the harsh reality is that making the phone call is needed if you want to succeed with women. In order to help you navigate your way through one of the most danger-fraught areas of dating, I’ve developed a guide of some basic phone call rules.
Wait two days to call
The first phone call rule to consider is when to call. Call too soon and you’ll reek of desperation; call too late and she may have lost all interest in you. Although some guys claim that the timing has to be precise -- almost to the hour -- you do have some margin for error.

If you've just acquired her number, wait at least two days before calling. Don't make the mistake of calling her the very next day just to let her know that you're interested -- she'll think you have no real life to get on with. But don't wait too long -- make that call within four days, before she gets angry or, worse, forgets who you are. Nothing is more humiliating than trying to jog her memory with the happenings of the night that you met: "I met you the other day; the funny guy with the cornflower blue tie..."

Once you enter the dating phase of the relationship, this phone call rule becomes more relaxed. After a date, always call within two days. You don’t have to arrange another date with this call; it can be made simply to thank her for a good time. It's also a good chance to gauge her interest level.
Have a reason for your call
This phone call rule states that you should always have a reason to call her. Women love to sit on the phone and chat the hours away, but they should do this with friends, not you, Romeo. Call her up with a purpose in mind; it can be as simple as to check or confirm something. For example, if she’s a fashionista, you can call her for some style pointers. Throughout the conversation take charge of it and steer it. Don't let her spin it and go off on a tangent; what starts as a simple mention of a seafood restaurant can turn into her recounting all the fishing trips that her dad dragged her on.

After three or so months, the phone call rules deem it acceptable to be more spontaneous in making a call. You still must have a reason for it, but the reason needn’t be as rigid as it was in the earlier stages. You can call her to tell her about a movie you just saw or how the business trip is going, but it's still forbidden to let her know that you’re calling just to hear her voice. If you must do this, have a fake reason to call, no matter how transparent it is -- besides, she’ll likely find it endearing.

While you are steering the talk, don't treat it like a call to your buddy: "Beer. Eight o'clock. See ya." Women need some substance in a call -- a little bit of padding, if you will.
Keep it brief
So, aside from the real reason for the call, what do you talk about? Ideally, you are calling to get to a point, keep it sweet and get out of there. Keep in mind that this is the warm-up for the date, not a date through technology, so do most of the talking in person. In the real world, however, she will want to talk for a while. Indulge her desire, but adhere to this phone call rule: Keep it short, with her wanting more.

Although you're taking charge of the call, don't dominate the conversation. Humor is always good, but don't overdo it or you’ll come across as a clown. Do not moan about your job, the football game or that really bad beat at poker -- these topics are for friends and bars. Don't open up about your fears or your hopes and sit alone in your favorite armchair, chatting until the sun comes up. The best thing to talk about is her.

You got her number, so you must know a little something about her -- talk about these things to personalize the call. Ask open-ended questions about her work, her friends or how her day has been; the beautiful part about such questions is that you can usually reply with just ”Yes” or ”Mmm” while still concentrating on the Xbox. Don't be afraid to move things along if she lingers on one topic too long.
End the call first
Just like the tired showbiz cliche, leave her wanting more. The key here is for you to be the one who terminates the call. The worst thing you can do is let the girl talk herself out and be the one to end the conversation. Don't be too brusque, but end the call when you want to.

At the start of the conversation you can tell her that the call will be quick. You can also have an excuse ready, such as an appointment to go to, pretending that someone is at the door or that you just got back from the gym and need to take a shower. Whenever you’re ready, just pull your excuse and hang up. You could even set a timer to give her five minutes then, bang! You're out of there.

The phone call rule to keep calls short and to the point is a very important one to adhere to: Women love to chat with their friends on the phone and if your phone time starts to outweigh time spent on a date, there's a danger of drifting into the friend zone.

By the way, never get into the ”You hang up,” “No, you hang up" thing. Just say OK and hang up if she tries to play that game.
Leave a message
If you get her answering service, don’t leave a message on your first attempt, despite the fact that she has caller ID. Wait a day to avoid looking desperate or aggressive before calling a second time, but this time leave a message. Keep your message short and safe -- meaning that you shouldn’t try to be too funny because it doesn't translate well in a message.

Don't overthink what to say, just speak normally. Always assume that her friends are with her and will hear it -- or at worst, her parents. Always ask her to return your call; this puts the ball in her court and if she doesn't call back, don't chase it -- she might be avoiding you.
Keep text messages to the point
As a society, we are increasingly communicating through non-verbal means. There's nothing strange about asking for a girl’s e-mail and contacting her through that. But the rules slightly shift here due to the lack of tone, timing and variable response times, all of which make these forms or communication a virtual minefield.

As with a verbal message, keep your text short, to the point, clear, and ask for a response. Don't try to initiate too much conversation through these means and try to get her on the phone as soon as possible. The immediate contact makes it seem more real. SMS should really only be used for practical functions, such as setting times and places.

Bear in mind these messages can be bounced around the globe in a matter of seconds, so don’t send anything embarrassing. Emoticons are the electronic equivalent of facial gestures, so use them to show that you are joking or being sarcastic. If you have no problem coming across as a player, flirting should be fine. But if you have any doubts about your ability, save it for the date -- the potential for failure is exponential with text.
got a hang up?
Not every phone call will go perfectly and some will never get returned. Remember that the hard part is getting the number; once you've managed that, she will be expecting your call. So, set your timer, remember these phone call rules and dial that number.

Dating tips - The One Thing Single Women Hate - Don’t Do It - : Dating advice and dating tips for men

“You can’t bore a woman into feeling attracted to you…”

I realize that this may sound like an obvious statement, but judging by the emails that I get week in and week out, maybe it’s not as obvious as it might seem to some guys. In fact, when I think back on my own experiences with women, I am definitely guilty of trying to bore women into feeling attracted to me… So, what do I mean by this silly sounding statement?

Well, let’s start with some ideas that I hear in one form or another all the time:

• “I was a perfect gentleman on our date, but she didn’t call me back, and I can’t reach her…”
• “I don’t want to use any ‘techniques’ with women because I feel like that would be ‘manipulating’ her…”
• “I want a girl who will like me for who I am…”
• “I give her everything she wants, take her out, buy her things, and I don’t understand why she doesn’t feel the same way towards me that I feel towards her…”
• “She tells me that she only likes me as a friend, then she goes out with these guys who treat her like crap instead of going out with a guy like me that would treat her wonderfully and give her everything she wants…”

And the list goes on and on…

Now, I realize that these statements are actually different from each other, and deal with different issues. But the common denominator in each of them is: you’re not behaving in a way that is pushing her attraction buttons. In most of these cases, you’re guilty of trying to bore her into feeling.

I got one letter recently where a guy was telling me that he had taken a girl out on a date, but that there wasn’t any “spark”… but he still felt attracted to the girl. He seemed to think that just because nothing obvious was bad about the date, that this girl should also feel attracted to him. (Maybe he thought that a few
more uninteresting, boring dates would cause her to open her eyes and see the light).

Here are a few common problems that lead to “boring date-itis“:

1. Playing it “safe”. Following her lead, not saying anything that you think will upset her and making sure that you’re “proper”.
2. Talking about boring things. Like jobs, family, weather, etc., because it’s “what people talk about to get to know each other.”
3. Being boring.

Playing it Safe

I can remember when I thought that the proper way to act on a date was to talk about socially acceptable topics, act sterile and quiet, and generally try to make sure that she got whatever she wanted. Oh, was this a huge mistake.

Generally speaking, women are bored to death by this kind of behavior. When you meet a girl for a cup of tea or go out to dinner, it’s time to have fun, not to be her personal ass kisser! Playing it safe and kissing up to her is a sure way to get either an expensive relationship or a woman who won’t call you back.

Talking About Boring Things

Don’t talk about your job and your family Boring!

Guys who are trying to convince women that they’re “nice”, talk about their families (If you really want to be a loser, carry pictures around with you and show them off). Talking about families is “courtship” behavior, and it will put her into the old “this guy is boring” frame of mind. Unless you’re related to John F. Kennedy or someone even more interesting, keep the family history to yourself!

As a quick note, I want to mention that you have to know not only how to not be boring, but you must also know how to communicate using the “language of attraction”… which is another topic completely

Being Boring

So, what does a “boring” guy act like? Well, for starters he acts like he’s not comfortable in the situation… Nervous smiles. Apologizing. Agreeing with her opinions all the time. Asking her what she’d like to do. Holding your body in an unsure, insecure way. That’s a good start.

Mix in a few uncomfortable silences and you’ve got the makings for her running as fast as she can and changing her phone number to save herself from
another one of your boring calls!

So, what’s the answer? What’s the secret to
making her feel attracted to you and not bored out of her skull? I thought you’d never ask. Here are a few ideas for starters:

1. Take her somewhere that has a lot going on… somewhere that has interesting conversation built in. I like funky areas that have lots of eclectic, artsy, trendy shops. You can’t walk through one of these areas without having an interesting conversation. There are all kinds of interesting things from tattoo artists to funky hat shops to ultra-trendy clothing stores. Most cities have an area like this, and I’d suggest you go check it out.

2. Talk about something that isn’t boring. One of my favorite things to do is to get her to talk about her life, then find things to make fun of. This is a great opportunity for cocky and funny…

You: “So, tell me something interesting.”
Her: “Like what?”
You: “What, you can’t think of even one interesting thing about yourself or your life? I think I need to go before this gets any worse…”

You get the idea…

3. If there is a silence, never let it be uncomfortable. I think that it’s great to stop talking when you’re first getting to know a woman. But don’t do it in a way that sends chills up her spine.

If the conversation goes cold for a few moments, just pay attention to something else for a minute. Think about something funny to say and laugh to yourself. She’ll say “What? What are you laughing about?”… which is a great lead in for about 1,000 different cocky/funny answers.

If the conversation stops, be cool. Just act like you’re with a friend, act totally casual, and pick it back up later. Just don’t act nervous and uncomfortable!

4. Don’t be predictable. There is an area of the human brain called “Broca’s Region” that is constantly anticipating what is about to happen, then discounting the predictable. In other words, the more predicable you are, the faster you will be considered boring.

Learn to say random things. Disagree with her… (without sounding like a whiny little girl). Tell her that you think Britney Spears looks like a dog…

If you’re boring, read a couple of books on how to tell stories. Or get a book on comedy to learn how to be funny and tell jokes. Just do whatever you have to do to avoid being predictable! And do whatever you have to do to learn how to make a woman feel attraction.

OK, I think you’re getting the idea. Women don’t want boring. A woman would rather be with an interesting, fun guy than with a rich, handsome, predictable, boring one (and the women who want the rich boring guy are often boring themselves…).

Once a woman starts to feel that magical, emotional and physical response called attraction, the entire situation changes, and you start having the kinds of success with women that most men only dream about. And most women go through life wishing, hoping, and dreaming that they will someday find a man that can make them feel this amazing feeling…

How to impress a guy or girl : - Dating advices and dating tips for men and women.

This is the question we askd our readers on dating advices and dating tips.

Are you highly successful when it comes to making a good impression on the opposite sex?

Does a first date usually lead up to a few more?

Is it the art of conversation that has fuelled your popularity?

Give us the lowdown on your smooth talk!

We invite our readers who have the gift of gab to tell us what kind of lines they use to have the opposite sex eating out of their hands. Ladies, tell us what gets the guys going, and guys, tell us what has the ladies swooning.

Come, share your dating tactics with other Get Ahead readers! Post your advice, experiences and opinions on the message board below.

here r the answers from our readers:

How to impress the opposite sex
by jal shakti on Aug 07, 2007 11:57 AM | Hide replies

It all depends upon the type of person you are going to meet.Keeping all things aside ,I'd say that we should be neat -clean, healthy,well dressed and should not have bad breath,Good,looks physique,charecter,with the ability to converse in good language(sweet words) and a purse full with money and the patience to take her around for shopping & movies / entertainment & parties.Above all should be willing always,for any thing and any time.

How to Impress
by HariOm Chawla on Aug 05, 2007 10:00 PM | Hide replies

Don't make any conscious effort to make good impression. Just be yourself. You are an individual; she is also an idividual, though of the opposite sex. Just have a free, frank talk. If you have common interests, likes and dislikes; it is O.K. Treat her as a person, and give full respect.

100% many womans be pataoed!
by Phaltu Uloo on Aug 01, 2007 06:53 PM | Hide replies

I is thinking for impress womans,problem not: first oil the hairs (better with coconut oil), make straight parting. Put powder on face, istri jean-pant and bush-shirt and putting
blue-strap hawai chappals. Stand on street corner with mobile inside ears and talk the English with amrikan style when womans
coming.Please not to talk the BC & MC language.
100% many womans be pataoed! If not patoed,no tension, problem not; Change coconut hair oils. Use Rai ka tel. 100% chance to Aish karo! PS: after pataoing, please do not forget PU.

How to impress the opposite sex
by on Aug 01, 2007 02:46 PM

Politeness and honesty of thoughts and the conviction with which you talk to a girl can do wonders. Restraint in self praise and excessive praise of your girl friend at times makes your feelings look fake. One must be humble, caring and decent and not be on the look of an oppertunity to display physical gestures like you wanting to hold her hand or putting it round her waist. You may be looked upon as a person who is in a hurry to be physical without understanding the girls nature and attitude. Girls want themselves to be understood, feel comfortable in your company and then once they are satisfied about your nature things would flow gradually and desirously. Dont ever try to push your way or impose things and conditions on issues which are talked about in your conversation. The first round of conversation should be general and not too specific but you must remember that it should not at all be probing. This would reflect that you are a pile on. Ajay

Big Joke!
by vipul parmar on Aug 01, 2007 01:19 PM

I think the creator of the story is frustrated with girls and actually trying to be gay either so he wants people's opinion for his last hope.
You dumbo every hole have different key as every girl or boy have different turn ons and one has to play as and when required.

There are no standard rules available in the world which helps a person to impress opposite sex except you study psychology and use those rules in real life.

dating tips
by Calvin Hobbes on Aug 01, 2007 01:17 PM | Hide replies

1. Do not try to impress her at all. Just be your natural self.
2. Don't be serious.
3. Now if you really want to impress her, take her to a place she never dreamt of. Let me be clear on this.. If you don't have anything which could impress her do not try to impress her. Now suppose you own a mall or a merc or something flashy and expensive, just show it to her without assuming anything,

Now put your comments in the comments list. We will publish the selected ones.

Make women flattered by the interest commitment and attention - dating tips and dating advices

Men often view approaching unknown women and initiating conversation a difficult step, that one doesn’t enter into lightly. Actually that’s mostly true if you’re inexperienced with women’s manners in courting situations.

Essential steps to introducing yet unknown women

However It's also useful to note that the if a man that just sits back and waits for a woman to hit on him, he actually never get to choose who he wants to date.

To be picked and approached seems like some kind of compliment to women. So they would rather wait for a man to make first step and approach her then she would risk approaching men and get turned down. What are essential steps to introducing yet unknown women?

Examine this list and see if you think you have all the essential skills:

1. Know to maneuver yourself into women’s space to show her signs of interest
2. Understand why shy or introvert women would rather wait for a man to initiate contact
3. Make women flattered by the interest and attention you give them

So, let's evaluate all-important steps one by one!

How to maneuver yourself into women’s space to show her signs of interest

Although men believe they have the opportunity to make the first move towards introducing women, actually women do pick and approach.

Women are welcome in a social situation to see a man they find attractive and then maneuver herself into his space to make herself available for his attention.

Shy or introvert women would rather wait a man to initiate contact

However there are always shy or introvert women who’d rather wait a man to initiate contact. So if you're in, a crowded bar or at a party, find a reason to walk near or stand in relatively close proximity to the woman.

You’ve given her the opportunity that eye contact can be established; you’re giving her the opportunity to make a move and show if she’s interested. Sometimes it ends up merely being eye contact across the room. Even the split second connection and small smile, could lighten love spark.

Make women flattered by the interest and attention you give them

Women are flattered by the interest and attention a man gives them, even when they're not interested in a relationship. Being the object of the opposite sex attentions boost females self esteem and praise her female attributes.

These are signals that say, it's okay to approach me. You can want women to be more aggressive all you want, but unfortunately all kinds of long-established social conditioning is in effect.

Women would let a man make first move toward intimacy

Bottom line: Most women are more comfortable letting a man make the first move. As a man you need to recognize hidden and subliminal messages from women and initiate contact if appropriate.

In a woman’s eyes, that doesn't mean she isn't picking and choosing, In her own way she might be sending easily readable signals so the man can make the connection. For more tips about attracting women’s attention, and picking signals that say, it's okay to approach me, refer to the e books below:

Get an inside look at what you will learn:

• How to maneuver yourself into women’s space to show her signs of interest?
• Understand why shy or introvert women would rather wait for a man to initiate contact
• Make women flattered by the interest and attention you give them

10: Things We Love About Women - dating advices and dating tips for men

Most men really, really like women. That may seem a bit like telling you that water is wet, but it's true. If there is a God, men should bow down and thank him for blessing us with such beautiful creatures in the opposite sex.

Of course, we usually aren't shy about showing our gratitude -- we tend to turn into slobbering piles of putty when a woman does just about anything. It's not always the scandalously mini mini-skirt or the cleavage-baring V-neck that does it (and this is by no means a call to outlaw these wonderful things). Instead, it's often the little, innocuous actions and displays that have the biggest effect on men.

Read on for the top 10 little things a woman does that drives us crazy.

Number 10

She goes for the heart through the stomach
All that fluffy talk about the sensuality of food contains morsels of truth, especially when the sweaty, apron-clad woman making it is doing so purely for your benefit. And it won't just be the kitchen that'll heat up if you start feeding each other with your hands. So eat up and enjoy. If you thank her the right way, you might even get out of doing the dishes.

Number 9

Her nipples stand up, and she lets them show
Jennifer Aniston's permanently erect nipples were one of the only things that made watching Friends tolerable for dutiful boyfriends across North America. Breasts are like ice cream sundaes to men, and the mind-blowing hint of hard nipples isn't just the cherry: It's more like the whip cream, the chocolate sauce, the chopped nuts, the caramel sprinkles, and the cherry on top. They're a sneak preview of what lies beneath, and they fill our heads with delicious imagery. So take off the damn sweater, please.

Number 8

She gives us the look
Most guys give just about every girl they come across the cursory once-over, but when that gaze is returned with a sultry, suggestive look, let's just say it immediately causes a tingling sensation "down there." With one such subtle glance, all the built-up stress and tension of the hunt is released. It confirms everything that was hoped for and gives the green light to swoop in for the kill. And nothing is hotter than that.

Number 7

She puts on lip gloss
Women think men love the soft, shiny lips that result from wearing lip gloss. In reality, we just love watching them put it on. In fact, why hasn't someone made a three-hour DVD devoted to girls applying lip balm, lipstick or anything else of that ilk? The head slyly tilted back, the mouth just slightly agape, the eyes closed -- what isn't sexy about that image?

Number 6

She dresses down
Give any girl a platinum card and six hours in front of a mirror, and she'll end up looking fantastic. But the real test (along with the real turn-on) is how a woman looks without designer jeans or makeup. If a girl can look downright hot in her laidback duds, it speaks to her natural beauty and shows that she has the capacity to be low maintenance. You can keep your Calvin Klein and MAC-aided diva; I'll take the casual cutie with her hair tucked into a bun, bra-lessly wearing a worn-out shirt.

Number 5

She talks blue out of the blue
No one likes a potty mouth. In fact, it's kind of a turnoff when a girl drops nonstop F-bombs. But when a normally prim and proper young lass loses herself in the moment and let's something downright nasty slip from her mouth, it can crank the heat up to dizzying levels.

Number 4

She hits the gym
Maybe it's the skimpy shorts and sports bras. Or it could be the grunts and labored, sweaty breathing. It may even be the litany of compromising exercises that get women bent into a breathtaking array of flexibility-testing positions. Whatever the reason, women somehow manage to turn a trip to the gym into a hot and heavy foreplay session. At least they did until some prude came up with "Women Only" gyms, and robbed men of the only reason they had to go in the first place.

Number 3

She gets close to a friend on the dance floor
Two girls grinding on the dance floor is a lot like wrestling: Even though you know it's all fake, you still can't help but like it. It doesn't take a study by Kinsey to figure out why men are blown away by this sight. Sweaty, drunk girls groping each other, the air charged with sexual energy -- and it's not even happening on DVD! Inevitably, some doughhead will ruin it for everyone by trying to sneak into the middle, but can you really blame him?

Number 2

She gives a sneak peek at the goods
Men are very easily visually aroused -- that's why porn is a multi-billion-dollar industry. So catching an unintended glimpse of a girl's "unmentionables" immediately gets the hormones flowing. Catching a peek at a lacy thong or watching the seductive trip of a dress strap as it fortuitously slips off a shoulder can do more for the libido than the raunchiest full frontal ever could.

Number 1

She suggests watching something dirty
Most men aren't particularly proud of their porn obsession (pornographers are just so good at marketing it to us!). So it goes without saying that having a girl suggest a "blue movie" is as big a relief as it is a turn-on. Who doesn't get charged up watching beautiful professionals pleasuring each other while doing some pleasuring of their own? Dirty flicks also provide lots of great ideas and suggestions (along with a bit of penis envy) and can keep things super-steamy for hours. Bonus: You can watch her searching for the right movie at the store for a glimpse into those closet ideas she isn't quite ready to reveal yet.

what men secretly enjoy

When a hot chick in a tight shirt or jeans walks down the street, it's no surprise to see the head of every man she passes swivel with varying degrees of subtleness. But what most women don't realize is that far less than curve-hugging clothes is required to light our fires. There are a myriad of seemingly innocuous things females do that are infinitely more arousing than a blatant flaunting of the goods.

10: Ways To Stand Out From Other Men - dating advices and dating tips for men

Did you know that when you meet a woman, the odds are high that she is already dating several OTHER men? Most men never consider this, but should. Not only are attractive women approached all the time… they are often juggling several "suitors" at any one moment.

If you want to stand out from "the pack"... and get her chasing YOU… you must be different. You need to develop yourself -- inside and out -- so you offer her a special experience with a different kind of guy. Here are 10 tips to help you do it.

Number 10

Deserve success

Deep down inside, most men don’t really believe they DESERVE success… especially with attractive women -- and it shows. Women can sense this kind of guy a MILE AWAY. If you don’t feel deserving of women, you'll come up with all sorts of interesting and creative ways to "sabotage" yourself. Instead, you need to look inside yourself and cultivate the belief that a woman would be LUCKY to be with you. Go ahead and write down three reasons why this is true. When you truly believe that you deserve success, you'll stand out "head and shoulders" above other men… and you'll attract women like a magnet.

Number 9

Feature your insecurities

One of the best things you can do to stand out from other men is to let go of any "hang ups" you have about your insecurities. The fact is… EVERY guy has them. Most men try to cover them up… but the more they try, the more insecure they appear to women. And women HATE this. It's like when a woman wears way too much makeup -- it's obvious she's covering up something BAD.

Instead of hiding your insecurities, feature them until they no longer bother you. One way to do this is to make cocky jokes about them when you're flirting with a woman. For instance, if you’re insecure about your height…. say something like: "This is never going to work out. You're not good at arguing, and I overcompensate for being short (or bald or broke) by acting arrogant… so we'd always argue, and I'd always WIN." When you shed light on your insecurities -- in a funny way -- a woman can't help but to be captivated by your candor and charm.

Number 8

Give yourself permission

Have you ever had the chance to start a conversation with a woman, but you didn't want to interrupt her or put pressure on her… so you never took the chance? Most people are unconsciously seeking PERMISSION… constantly… to do every little thing. But to improve your success with women, you need to break out of this cycle and learn to give YOURSELF permission.

How? One way is to have role models. Find guys who are good with women and watch them start conversations. By seeing THEM do it, you'll feel more permission for YOU to do the same. And you'll begin to see plenty of areas in your life where you can give yourself permission to act -- where other men hold back. A man with the freedom to take action when and where he wants is rare -- and women find this kind of "bold" guy VERY attractive.

Number 7

Be okay with her independence

Most men feel "left out" if a woman wants to do something alone or with friends other than HIM. Ever have a girl you really liked tell you, "I'm so excited! I'm going out with my friends to this concert on Saturday," or maybe it was camping or some other fun event… and INSTANTLY you felt jealous or sad -- like you just LOST something?

While it's "normal" to have this reaction, you CAN learn how to get over it and move to a higher level. Realize that it's mature to allow others -- especially women -- to live their lives and enjoy their own experiences… without you feeling that you're losing something. And on the flip side, work on building your desire to do things WITHOUT HER… and truly enjoy doing them. When you learn this perspective, she'll see that you have an inner confidence and independence that few other men have… and she'll find herself uncontrollably drawn to you.

Number 6

Clarify your path

Have you ever thought about the course of your life… your values… your vision? Most men haven't… and a woman can tell IMMEDIATELY if she's dealing with a man who hasn't got his life "on track" yet. The more clarity you have about your path -- who you are and where you're headed -- the more women will find you desirable. Women LOVE men who have their life "together" and who know themselves on a deeper level. So be different -- challenge yourself to clarify your own path… and enjoy the bonus of attracting women at a level you've never known before.

Number 5

Develop your mature masculinity

Every woman wants to be with a mature man -- and by mature, I don't mean STUFFY, BORING and OLD… I mean a man who "gets" what it means to be a MATURE ADULT. So how can you raise your own level of maturity? Stop correcting others to make yourself feel important… stop being a "know it all" so people will give you approval… and quit saying and doing things to get attention rather than to add real value to those around you. These are all "boy-man" behaviors, and you have to give these up if you want to be a truly mature man -- that rare kind of guy women swoon over…

Number 4

Live on the edge

Ever known a guy that lived life to it's fullest -- where every day was a new adventure? He probably was the kind of guy who consistently had women fighting for his attention. But did you ever ask yourself where he got his "seize the day" attitude? One powerful way you can develop this attractive, "free-spirited" attitude is by getting over your fear of DEATH, and then using the idea of death to ignite your passion for living every day as if it were your last. Embrace the idea of your own death… use it as a tool to enjoy your life even more -- and create the PASSIONATE lifestyle women want to be a part of.

Number 3

Build a happy single life

Did you know that most men in relationships did not have HAPPY single lives? It's true. Most men start off unhappy alone... then they find a woman to cling to… they hold on too tightly and give away their power to win approval… which, in turn, destroys all attraction she had. Don't repeat this mistake. Instead, build a happy single life FIRST. Get to the point where your single life is so damn good that you PREFER being single… fill your life with so many things you enjoy that you literally have to think about how to fit a woman in… then CHOOSE a relationship because it makes your already incredible life better. The more you love your single life, the more desirable you become. Don't be surprised when attractive women want to hop on your "party train" and go for a ride…

Number 2

Cultivate your "cool"

Ask any woman and she'll tell you "real men" are hard to come by… they are the rare diamond that all women secretly seek. So how does a woman know when she's in the presence of one? Here are a couple of clues: First, a real man has learned how to be comfortable around beautiful women… they don't affect him any differently than anyone else. In addition, he's relaxed around powerful, high-status people, like his boss or a celebrity… you’ll see no ass-kissing or subservient behavior from him. On top of that, a “real man” keeps his composure when facing competition from other men instead of “freaking out.” In other words, he’s learned how to keep his cool in EVERY situation… so it's no surprise that -- just like the ultra-cool Fonz from Happy Days -- there's no shortage of women in his life.

Number 1

Take the time to do your "homework"

Most men have a particular woman in mind that they'd like to meet… and they think the FIRST STEP in winning her over is to understand what makes her "tick." But this is putting the cart before the horse. Before you can understand what she wants you first need to understand MEN. Then, you need to apply what you learn about men in general to YOURSELF in particular. Next, you need to study female psychology -- how women think and what they want. And only THEN can you figure out what the PARTICULAR woman in front of you wants, and how to communicate with her in a way that dials up the attraction and makes her crave to be with you… and ONLY you. 99% of men get this sequence BACKWARD… but when you take the time to understand how to put these "pieces of the puzzle" together, you won't believe the effect it will have on your dating life.