Attract Her Silently - Dating advice for men

There’s more than one way to communicate, and experts will tell you the majority of human communication is expressed through our actions and expressions. If this is the case, wouldn’t it be reasonable to assume we could spark interest and attraction without the benefit of words? A picture is worth a thousand words, and so is a meaningful look or a significant gesture. While you will, of course, have to speak eventually, it isn’t essential that the launching pad consist of verbal interaction. Women are generally considered the more sensitive sex -- for better or for worse -- and therefore they’re more likely to notice the little things, things typical men might consider trivial or superfluous. Take advantage of this by making the silent approach a projection of your personality and desire with the absence of words. Your goal, of course, is to land an actual verbal flirting encounter.

The well-rounded Player should be capable of such a task, especially when the human psyche often generates a first impression before the first words are uttered. You should know how crucial a first impression is, and you’re virtually ensuring a great one if you can nail the silent approach. She’ll remember the way you looked at her and the way you looked when she first saw you. If done smoothly, it should work wonders.

Here are several tips to get you started, but remember: If this fails, a close, flirtatious encounter may be entirely out of the question.

Show similar interests through your actions

This will take some early observation coupled with a timely movement or gesture on your part. It’s easiest to explain through examples, so here’s one: Perhaps you’re in the supermarket and you’re both browsing through the produce. She’s selecting a cantaloupe and you “just happen” to reach for the same one at the same time (it’s not anywhere near as difficult as it sounds). Another example may take place at your home away from home: the bar or dance club. You’ve been keeping your eye on this hot little number three tables over and you notice she only orders one particular drink, giving you the perfect opportunity to purchase one and send it over. In turn, the door is opened to a “Hey, that’s your favorite drink, too?” sort of meeting. Birds of a feather!

This could happen anywhere, at any time. Whether you’re out in the park jogging and you match her pace for a little while or you simply stop beside her to examine a store window on the sidewalk, relating to her without words can be a surprisingly straightforward process.

Prompt verbal contact with your eyes/actions

This goes well beyond a simple look; you’re seeking to grab her attention with a specific action. For instance, say you’re in a department store looking through a rack of shirts. You notice a particularly appealing target within the same vicinity so you get a bit closer, select a shirt and hold it up. Catch her eye and shoot her an inquisitive look as if to say, “How’s this?” Or perhaps you find yourself in an elevator, stuck behind one particularly rude individual who believes the entire world wants to hear his personal cell phone conversation. A shared rolling of the eyes is often enough to spark light banter before you depart the elevator, and provided you’ve properly honed your speed-flirting skills, you’re golden.

By the way, this tip comes fully equipped with an added perk, one you’ve probably already surmised: You can easily gauge her interest by her reaction. The situation is almost irrelevant; if you attempt to share common ground with only a look, the results in her eyes and facial reaction should be clear.

Opposites attract from a distance

Here you will present yourself as a polar opposite from afar. Now, it may sound bizarre and maybe even counterproductive, but when done properly, this technique works far better than you might expect. If your eyes have already crossed paths, you’ve probably sketched a rudimentary portrait of her personality based on her reaction (remember the previous hint?). Therefore, if she’s clearly the shy type and averts her eyes with a small smile, you come on strong from across the room with a big smile and direct eye contact. If she likes to play the role of the aggressor, you become the hard-to-get target and play it soft. Get it? The key to “talking with your eyes” centers on a person’s ability to blend facial expressions with eye movement. In other words, if she looks away with downcast eyes and a small grin, she’s playing shy and coy. If you keep a steady gaze and a larger smile, it’s obviously a more straightforwad approach (just don’t stare like a nut).

You could also implement an idea from the previous tip, which includes buying her a drink in a bar with the accompanying -- and appropriate -- look. In other situations, you might even be able to pick up her movie tickets for her while standing in line at the theatre -- a surprising and flattering move.

Offer to help in an appropriate situation

It’s the silent, yet gallant, approach that will open so many doors; in fact, you might start with that one: Simply open a door for a lovely lady. There are multiple opportunities to take advantage of the straightforward gentleman theory, and that includes helping a woman when she’s clearly loaded down with packages or bags, helping her pick up the purse she dropped (and the contents that spilled from it), etc. Don’t say a word; simply move to assist and you’ll immediately be in her good graces.

Remember, though, we’re not advising you to create these opportunities. In the preceding example, for instance, don’t knock into her on purpose just for an excuse to help her retrieve the fallen items. Not only is it too transparent and even predictable, it’s also a little underhanded. For this tip, you simply need to be in the right place at the right time; don’t force the issue.

Dress to fit the occasion

When you know where you’re going and you know what type of woman you’re seeking, you can gain the upper hand by dressing appropriately… and alluringly. Women pay very close attention to the way a man dresses -- any successful Player knows this -- and you can get a foot in the door by selecting the best possible attire. If you’re looking for a higher class of female at a particularly elegant club, you’re going to have to dress it up beyond what is required.

Women dress to attract males, and contrary to popular belief, the door does swing both ways. Besides, it’s yet another opening for conversation and a chance for you to comment on her outfit, which very rarely fails to impress if done correctly.

Lure her with an outside “cuteness factor”

If you’ve ever been to the park in search of a delectable target, you’ll know it’s best to go with a partner in crime… one who’s a great deal smaller. You may not have a baby or a dog close at hand, so if you don’t just borrow one for the day. Babysitting or pet-sitting -- it doesn’t matter because provided you head to the right locations, you’ll be in a prime position to hear a lot of “aww” and “isn’t he cute?!” comments.

In one way, those compliments are indirectly aimed at you, as women instantly believe a man with either a child or pet is both sensitive and mature, capable of making (and upholding) important life decisions. Besides, without a woman holding your hand, they’ll also assume you’re a single parent -- or single pet owner -- and best of all, they will initiate contact. You just gotta play it up a bit by getting all mushy with your companion for the day. Sure, you may be risking some of those masculinity trophies you’ve acquired over the years, but it’s worth taking the chance.

actions speak louder

Ever wonder why there are so many jokes about bad pickup lines? It’s obviously because there are so many bad pickup lines. Despite the fact that much of human communication is done in a non-verbal capacity, saying the right thing to a woman remains pretty crucial. But you can remove some of the pressure simply by establishing an extraordinary positive rapport without even opening your mouth. The previous tips may sometimes rely on things you can’t control such as timing, the type of women in the vicinity and unique situational demands, but the foundation for each is solid. It’s not chivalrous to say you’re preying on a woman’s sensitivity, but it’s very honorable to say you’re simply speaking her language… without ever saying a single word.