10: Ways To Render Her Powerless - Dating advice and dating tips for men

Everyone has a weakness -- a critical Achilles' heel that can be exploited for both fun and profit. In the case of dating, understanding a woman’s weaknesses can be the difference between an unforgettable night of passion and yet another evening of cruising the internet for donkey porn. Read on to discover the top 10 things that render every woman powerless, regardless of her background or position in life.

Number 10

Us Weekly

Did you know that Lindsay Lohan recently spent more than $9,000 at London’s Arrogant Cat boutique or that Beyonce Knowles enjoys riding the subway? Of course you didn’t (you have a life of your own), but your girlfriend certainly knows. That’s because, like all women, she loves to gossip. Luckily for her, trashy periodicals like Us Weekly and People Magazine give her a chance to get the inside dirt on all of the planet’s newsworthy celebrities.

Number 9

Dirty Dancing

Just as men can’t resist films with gratuitous nudity and explosions, women are similarly powerless in the presence of melodramatic movies that contain excessive dialogue and soundtracks featuring Patrick Swayze. Take Dirty Dancing, for instance. No, seriously, take it, because we don’t intend to waste another minute of our lives watching two grown adults do the jitterbug. Some other irresistible chick flicks include The Notebook, Breakfast at Tiffany's and Beaches, a film that not even Bette Midler's man can sit through from start to finish.

Number 8

“These Boots Are Made For Walking”

It’s been scientifically proven that no woman above the age of 30 can resist shaking her money maker to “These Boots Are Made for Walking.” In fact, the song’s allure is so strong that even Megadeth deemed it necessary to record their own version of the 1966 hit. Other female friendly tunes include Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” and Marc Cohn’s "Walking in Memphis" (a light-rock classic designed to suck the testosterone out of your body with every saccharine verse).

Number 7

Tanning

Let’s be perfectly honest: Most men would be happy living in a cave if they could find one that was rent-controlled. Women, on the other hand, positively need the sun. That’s why they insist on bathing for hours at a time until their skin becomes crispier than a freshly baked tortilla chip. It’s also why America’s fake tanning industry raked in more than $4.2 billion in 2000; although to be fair, George Hamilton probably accounted for about a third of that. Nonetheless, the U.S. now has more than 15,000 fake-and-bake locations from sea to shining sea, most of which serve a predominantly female clientele.

Number 6

Conversation

Although most people know that Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, few people realize that he never had the chance to use it because his wife was always on the line. The fact of the matter is that women love to talk: They do it on the phone, they do it in person, they do by e-mail and, if they had to, they’d do it through smoke signals and carrier pigeons.

And the conversations are never brief. Although some men can resolve a nuclear arms treaty in a matter of minutes, most women can somehow find a way of discussing their hairdo for up to seven hours at a time. Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead needs only to ask his wife how her day was to discover otherwise.

Number 5

Trash-talking one another

In the words of American essayist Agnes Repplier, " Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.” Luckily, with more than six billion people now on the planet, women have no shortage of targets to address. From their mouth-breathing boss to the best friend they secretly hate, the fairer sex love to complain for hours on end about the people who complicate their lives.

Number 4

Relationship analysis

Contrary to popular belief, Dr. Phil isn’t famous because women love bald guys with porn star moustaches. Rather, the good doctor is adored by the fairer sex because he willingly analyzes their relationships, something that all women do anyhow. As unbelievable as it may sound, women actually spend just as much time thinking about how they interact with others as you spend looking at box scores and managing your football fantasy team.

That means that while you’re busy considering whether you should drop Drew Bledsoe in favor of Jon Kitna, your girlfriend is trying to figure out if your fear of commintment is linked to the time your best friend moved to Idaho when you were 7.

Number 3

The Bachelor

All women crave romance, which is precisely why they fall for sappy reality shows like The Bachelor. After all, where else can they experience a world where everyone lives in mansions, first dates involve transatlantic flights to Paris and women get rejected with a single red rose? God knows, they’re certainly not going to experience it with you or you buddies. The last we heard, a typical Friday night with you involved pizza and a sweaty sock.

Number 2

Bath baskets

More than anything else, women love to be pampered. That’s precisely why they adore manicures, pedicures and dainty little bath baskets full of scented products. Luckily, men have no need for bath products. After all, we already have our own built-in bath toy that we’ve been happily playing with since we were toddlers.

Number 1

Photo albums

Ask a man where he was last Thursday evening at 8:00 and he’ll likely draw a blank. Ask a woman where she was and she’ll tell you not only the location, but also what she was wearing, who she was with, the color of the wallpaper in the room, and the song that was playing on the radio at the time. And nowhere will you find a woman’s obsessive love for detail more thoughtfully arranged than in her collection of photo albums.

These exhaustive volumes carefully document good friends, good times and, more often than not, horrible haircuts. It’s only fair to warn you now that in the event of a five-alarm blaze, most women would sooner save their albums before they saved you.

a little understanding goes a long way

It has been said that knowledge is useless without a practical application. So now that you know women’s weaknesses, it’s up to you to put your understanding to the test. Who knows? With a little luck and a lot of charm, she could end up dirty dancing her boots that are made for walking right into your bedroom...